Worst Jokes Ever
Your mama is so ugly, she tried summoning Candyman, but he refused to come!
Relationships are like fat people.
Most of them don’t work out.
Me: My grandpa killed 100 nazis in WWII.
My Friend: Well my grandpa killed Hitler.
Me: *Realizes*
What time do terrorists arrive in New York City?
9:11 AM
I got arrested on suspicion of attempted rape all because I was carrying some cable ties, a bit of tape and a piece of cloth. It's such a joke, I hadn't even bought the chloroform yet.
I love eating pussy. That’s why the animal shelter is always my go-to for a good meal.
Oh, Lois, that was more scary than Michael Jackson without pants in front of a kid!
Joe mama so fat when she got sturdy, she tripped on her shoelaces, fell on her face, and fell down 2 floors.
How did the Chinese chicken cross the road?
He wok-ed.
Yo mama so ugly, when she looks in a mirror, it says, "Viewer discretion advised!"
Your mama is so ugly, her shadow got a restraining order.
Joe Mama so weird, she cut her hair in a squiggly diggly haircut.
Bad Hitler puns are infuhrerating.
You are so ugly, when the devil saw you, he said, "Jesus Christ!"
Your hairline is so pushed back, it's looking like it got slapped up by Will Smith.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Your mum's so fat, she broke Britain too!
Hitler walks into his meeting room, turns to his trusted staff, and says, “I want you to organize the execution of 10,000 Jews and one kitten.”
Everyone looks around the table and, after a long silence, Goering pipes up. “Mein Fuhrer, why do you want to kill a kitten?”
Hitler smiles and turns to the rest of the table. “You see, no one cares about the Jews.”
My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.
My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"
How do you get away with rape and incest in California?
Say you identify as a woman. Fact: It's actually legal to rape your daughter if you are a woman in California.
What do you call a virgin kid locked in a room with a pedophile? Past tense.