Worst Jokes Ever

I have more cum in one testicle than you have in your whole penis.

What do you call Stephen Hawking in a burning building?

Hot Wheels.

Why do so many people hate Bill Cosby? I mean, all he did was have affairs with drunk, attention-seeking women. They literally begged for it.

What do you call Stephen Hawking on a bungy jump?

Spasticelastic.

Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator?

He grew up a Florida Man, after all.

A man died and went to heaven. Every time you cheat, you get a worse car.

The first man cheated 5 times; he got a Jeep. The second man cheated 3 times; he got a BMW. The third man never cheated; he got a Lamborghini.

The second man saw the third man sad. He said, "Why are you sad?" The third man said, "I saw my wife with a scooter."

What's the difference between Wacko Jacko and Elvis Presley?

14 number 1 hits.

Women should be allowed to choose: dishes or cooking first.

I know your hairline's pretty bent, but your gender's on a different level.

Why do orphans hate Christmas?

Father Christmas isn’t a thing.

Women should have the right to choose whether they want to do cooking or cleaning first.

I'm throwing an orgy for people on antidepressants.

Let me know if you can't cum.

Foreplay in may areas: "You awake?"

Way down South: "You awake, mom?"

What's the difference between MJ and myself?

Nothing at all.

I was gonna make a joke about sex, but you won’t get it.

Today we had a test on September 11th in school. I got a 9/11.

I like your mom naked.

Imagine working at the World Trade Center, only for Osama bin Laden to call and ask if he could crash at your place.

I didn't know that COVID-19 was a thing until I saw your eyebrows and your hairline social distancing.

When you die, people cry and wish you to come back.

But when you do, people scream and run away.