Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

My mother was so sad after my grandpa's death, she went into the bathroom with my uncle, and I could hear their moans of sorrow. She then surprised me later on, saying that she was pregnant.

If things don't get better, the Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging.

Huggy Wuggy and Kissy Missy had a baby.

They never gave him a name, so they just played cut the rope with him...

In America, you fight Ukraine.

In Soviet Russia, you fight Mykraine.

I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!

I think I banged a Chinese celebrity...

She kept screaming “I’m Wei Tu Yung” like I was supposed to know the name.

What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and the kid I kidnapped?

Isaac Newton died a virgin.

So, Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says, "Teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "Okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But before class ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the students clear out, Johnny makes his guess. "Blue." "Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear. "Well, come with me out to my dad's car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out. When they get to the car, she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: "That mother fucker! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your pussy before the end of the day!"

Your mum is so fat, she eats every meal from KFC, Maccas, Hungry Jacks all at once!

What's black and white, black and white, black and white?

Michael Jackson.