Worst Jokes Ever
Mom, what happens if you swear at a church?
Well, honey, a tee posing nun with glowing red eyes and nunchucks will beat you.
Where does a banana learn to split?
At sundae school!
Three gay men enter a bar in Iran. They don't come out.
Why did the pervert cross the road?
'Cause he was stuck to the chicken.
Why are drums and autistic people the same?
They both go "uh uh uh uh uh uh!"
"Oh, hey guys, do you know I saw a guy with dementia?"
"Oh, hey guys, do you know I saw a guy with dementia?"
"Oh, hey, do you know I saw a guy with dementia?"
You are so skinny that the only difference between you and a leaf is color.
I have more cum in one testicle than you have in your whole penis.
What do you call Stephen Hawking in a burning building?
Hot Wheels.
Why do so many people hate Bill Cosby? I mean, all he did was have affairs with drunk, attention-seeking women. They literally begged for it.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on a bungy jump?
Spasticelastic.
Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator?
He grew up a Florida Man, after all.
A man died and went to heaven. Every time you cheat, you get a worse car.
The first man cheated 5 times; he got a Jeep. The second man cheated 3 times; he got a BMW. The third man never cheated; he got a Lamborghini.
The second man saw the third man sad. He said, "Why are you sad?" The third man said, "I saw my wife with a scooter."
What's the difference between Wacko Jacko and Elvis Presley?
14 number 1 hits.
Women should be allowed to choose: dishes or cooking first.
I know your hairline's pretty bent, but your gender's on a different level.
Why do orphans hate Christmas?
Father Christmas isn’t a thing.
I'm throwing an orgy for people on antidepressants.
Let me know if you can't cum.
Women should have the right to choose whether they want to do cooking or cleaning first.
Foreplay in may areas: "You awake?"
Way down South: "You awake, mom?"