Worst Jokes Ever

Lil Johnny came home one day and said, "What do fucking each other mean?"

Then he walked through the living room and his dad was fucking his mom, so oh.

You're so full of shit that the toilet's jealous.

Me.

The joke is me.

I am reading a horror book in braille.

Something bad is going to happen. I CAN FEEL IT!

Hi, I am back! Tell me what's happening?

Yo mama is so ugly, if she got a pound for every boy that found her unattractive, boys would find her attractive.

What do you call a group of depressed kids with guns?

The suicide squad.

How am I an ableist? My ex-girlfriend was in a wheelchair, and we lived in the same old building with a broken elevator. I ended the relationship by moving to the 8th floor.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't run home.

I told my wife her eyebrows were too high.

She looked surprised.

The boy was clapping, then he became clapped.

What do you call a disabled kid who is blind?

A grape chilli bean.

To all my bullies: don’t call me gay because I’m not happy.

What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?

Full.

What's the difference between a dead hooker and a watermelon?

The watermelon didn't scream when I sliced it.

Bully: My mom says I'm not allowed to burn trash.

Me: (quiet)

Bully: HEY I'M TALKING TO YOU.

Me: Are you talking to yourself? Because I was listening to music until I heard you.

Did you fall from Heaven? Because so did Satan.

Your mom is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing.

Where did a chicken orphan go?

A foster home.

What do you call an orphan who grows up and becomes a priest?

Father Les.