Worst Jokes Ever
Why did Hitler stop playing Golf?
He kept getting stuck in the Bunker.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Me: Knock knock.
My sister: Who's there?
Me: I eat mop.
My sister: I eat mop who?
My mind: I eat my poo.
My sister getting it.
Yo momma so ugly, the Devil started going to church!
What did the horses say to the donkeys?
"Jackasses, please like!"
Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?
When you unplug the charger to charge your phone, but you realize it was plugged into your grandpa's life support:
Please stop hurting people's feelings, or they'll hang around the house.
Why would you shoot up an innocent school... if your aimbot's dead and you can't commit headshots only?
Astrophysics fact: If you count every star on a Saturday night, you're autistic.
Day 70 without sex, my doctor asked me, "Are you sexually active?" I said, "Why, what you tryna do?"
What kind of knickers is the best?
Windy knickers, because they're the best kind.
Why is it always cold in the hospital?
To keep the vegetables fresh.
You heard of Spider-Man: No Way Home. Now get ready for:
Orphan: No Way Home.
A noose, a knife, a gun, and a razor blade look at a child who committed suicide after being bullied.
Everyone looked at the noose. The noose would say, "What? It wasn't my fault!"
I love telling good news to my patients, like they survived the crash but their family died.
The dirtiest football player in my school was the smallest.
He was just trying to find out who was tickling his balls.
I'm thinking about telling my daughter there's a ghost in the house. At least then I can wear a bed sheet at night and fuck her without her being suspicious.
If one of ya'll could find my weave, that'd be great!
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lickalottapuss.