Dude, I lied.
Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call an annoyed octopus?
Octopissy.
Brian has a crush on a cute girl, Sally, from school, so he goes and tells his dad about her, and he says, "Sorry, son, you can't like her; she is your sister." So Brian is okay with it, and he starts to like another girl, Madison, and he goes up to his dad and says, "I have a crush on this girl, Madison," and again the dad goes, "Oh, sorry, son, you can't like any girl in school; they are all your sisters." So he goes crying to his mom and says, "Dad said I can't like any girl because they are all my sisters," and the mom goes, "Oh, it's okay; you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad."
Sandwiches are yummy! đ
I have a body count of 7.
I like chips.
Midget
Your mother is so fast, she got arrested for carrying 10 pounds of crack.
Shit, Iâm never gonna try to commit suicide again. I almost died!
You're so fat that I run around you for exercise.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Because they miss Motherâs Day and Fatherâs Day.
1. Your brother says... âyou look ugly.â You say back... âNice, I was trying to look like you.â
2. You're so dumb, I'm surprised you even made it to kindergarten.
3. The ugly vowels: A, E, I, O, and YOU.
Man #1: Pretend your age is a level, I am Level 20.
Man #2: My son died at level 4.
Man #1: Lol, your son is a noob.
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Malaysian Airlines Flight 303!
What's the difference between a knife and my life?
A knife has a point.
Why did the orphan commit mass murder?
To be on top of the wanted list.
This guy went to the gas station to get some gas, and as he asked the cashier for gas he noticed a terrible smell. He asked what the smell was and the cashier replied, "That's your gas, cuz I farted. Now hand me the 20 bucks!"
The guy said, "No, not the kind that comes from your ass, but the kind you put in a car!" The cashier says, "That fart was worth 20 bucks, so beat it!"
Guy says, "I need real gas, nothing about your ass impresses me!" Then another guy gets in line and says, "I know the guy personally, we grew up together. Always trying to be the cool kid in school, bragging about his big horse's ass...no wonder he was always the *butt* of all jokes!"
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
At least one of them gets picked.
Why were Twin Towers mad that their food wasnât good enough?
Because they got plain.
Jokes are like food.
Not everyone gets it.
