Do you know why I finger women with my left hand?
They don’t deserve rights!
Worst Jokes Ever
Why don't witches wear underwear?
So they can get a better grip on their broom.
Why can't orphans never run all the bases in baseball? Because they can never make it home.
How can you tell a blonde likes you? She ducks you two nights in a row.
#GOODBYEGWEN
What do you call a very rude bird? A mockingbird.
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe.
Why can't orphans have a big bag of chips?
Because they're family sized!
How did Gertie Gorilla make the Playboy magazine?
She was ape-ril!
What is a gorilla's favorite cookie?
It's chocolate chimp.
I caught my wife having s*x with another guy.
I put a magnet in my butthole and made the teachers smell it.
Straight people.
That's the joke.
Two (DYM 112)
My therapist once said, "time heals all wounds." So I stabbed him. Now we wait...
What's the only part of a vegetable you cannot eat?
Wheelchair.
Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it.
Genders are a lot like the Twin Towers.
There used to be two, but now it’s just a sensitive topic.
Man: Hey kids, who wants milk?
Kids: Me!
Man: *unzips fly*
Me to my friend: I only date suicidal girls.
My friend: Why?
Me: Because that pussy is limited edition.
