Worst Jokes Ever

If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?

You pecan do it!

You must be rich! You've got all the cashews.

Cashew, see, I'm nuts about you!?

Your secret is safe with me. I walnut tell a soul.

I love almond milk. It’s unlike any udder milk.

I had fresh coconut the last time I went to Hawaii. It’s a tough nut to crack.

I’d tell you a secret about peanut butter, but you might spread it.

A friend asked what an acorn is.

I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”

I want an almond-flavored biscuit. Amaretti? You bet I am!

I want an almond-flavored biscuit.

Don’t panic! Stay c-almond collected.

If you put ice cream on the nutty brownie, you’re serving it a la mode.

The nut is so solid, it’s peanut brittle.

Can I ask you a question? Nut now!

Who answers the door at the peanut mansion?

The peanut butler.

How do you catch an elephant?

Act like a peanut.

What do you call super expensive shoes?

Cashews.

The cashew called the peanut boring.

The peanut felt very unsalted.

What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?

I'mma cashew outside!