Worst Jokes Ever

Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me?

Dad: Don’t be silly son, you were an accident. I never loved you in the first place.

"You're the bomb."

"No, you're the bomb."

A compliment in the US, an argument in the Middle East.

I thought opening a door for a lady was good manners, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.

Your Mom is so friking fat, that when she ripped her pants and went to the seamster, they said, "We don't sew curtains!"

Fuck people who are bigger than me physically, emotionally, mentally, economically, and socially.

I support men.

There are women's support groups, but where are men's support groups?

Why did the chicken cross the road to Popeyes Chicken?

It wanted to pop some chicken eyes...

The department of touch yourself is coming to the UK near you. I hope Scotland gets freedom. I can't wait to leave England and live in Scotland.

What will make a depressed teenager happy?

A cliff.

We have a teacher in school. His name is Haybrock, but he is gay, so we call him Gaybrock.

You're adopted, do you want to know why? Because you're so ugly.

Are there support groups for men?

What does a blind man and your dick have in common?

They both can’t get up without a dog.

Guys, can you like my jokes, please?

I wasn't close to my father when he died. Which is lucky because he stepped on a landmine.

Dulux have created a new type of paint. It's called "Sue Grey." It covers up everything.

Yesterday a woman stabbed me, so I stabbed her back. Then I realized she was the vaccine woman.

My worst fear is being trapped in a lift with a man who is confident he can fix it.

Give a man a match, and he's warm for a few minutes. Set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.