You are so ugly Santa goes "ho ho ho holy sh*t."
Worst Jokes Ever
Me. I am the joke.
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
Do you know why pedos get away with molesting orphans? Who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.
It's past April Fool's Day, and we still have a joke as president.
Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."
*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"
A man walks into a magic forest, when he stumbles upon a talking tree and tries to cut it down. The tree says, "You can't cut me down, I'm a talking tree!" The man replies, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
"Ur Grandma" You think you're funny? Well, sorry, but you're not.
Your forehead is so big we could fit the whole alphabet on there.
Doom is eternal.
My grief counselor died. He was so good, I didn't even care.
Some girl just walks into my 6th period geography class. The first thing I think is, "Oh shit! It's mini Regina George without titties!"
Why can't an orphan have milk?
His dad didn't come back with the milk.
Yo mama sooooooo fucking fat, when she takes a step, she needs a 5-min break.
What does a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus have in common? They're both thinking; "Oh sh*t, my mom's gonna kill me!"
Why did the ion always lose at Go Fish?
Because he was playing with a cheetah!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple can trace back its family tree.
What does Amogus and Jesus have in common?
They're sus.
Q: Why can’t orphans play baseball?
A: Because they can’t find home.
A train walks into a bar. It says to the barkeeper, "I'll have a gallon of ale."
"A gallon?" the barkeeper asks.
"Yes," replies the train, "I always end up chugging it."