Worst Jokes Ever
I told my kids to smile with the monkeys in the open zoo.
They never got together at all.
Girlfriend: You remind me of a cell phone.
Girlfriend's ex: Why?
Girlfriend: Because you're about to die.
Why was the emo kicked out of the Carnival? Because he was cutting in line.
Name what guns are used for. {wrong answers only?}
Little Johnny is in class one day, and little Timmy starts laughing. The teacher says, "What's so funny?" He said, "I can see your bra strap." The teacher says, "Don't come back to class for a week," so he gets up and walks out. A few minutes later, little Billy starts laughing, and she asks, "What's funny now?" Little Billy said, "I can see both of your bra straps." The teacher says, "Get out of my classroom for a month." So little Billy got pissed, he walked out and slammed the door. This scared the teacher, and she dropped the chalk. She picked it up, then she stood back up, and she sees little Johnny walking out of the classroom. She asked, "Where do you think you're going?" He said, "Well, teach, after what I saw, I'm done with school for a lifetime."
She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!
Why is it okay to stab meat, but I can't stab myself? These woke lefties, BLM, Antifa, feminists, eco-warriors, pro-vaccine libtards are stopping your freedom and right to stab yourself!
I hate the poor, who's with me? The rich, all the way!
What does an abortion joke and a fetus have in common... The joke never gets old, and neither does the kid.
What is the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid?
"I like ya cut G" means two different things.
When the school shooter runs out of ammo: K a l m.
When he grabs a full mag: P a n i k.
When he looks back and doesn't see you, but you're hiding in one of the classrooms: K a l m.
When the autistic kid's Sketchers light up: P A N I K.
Why was an orphan loving school?
Because the people actually came back.
Why did an orphan have s**? To have someone to call daddy.
Someone asked me what the lines on my wrist were from. I answered, "My cat has OCD."
I usually don’t make school shooting jokes.
Because they’re aimed at a younger audience.
Dang... if I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put D IN U ;)
I only know there are 25 letters in the alphabet, I don't know Y.
(Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?) -- (Friend: 11- T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T)
(Me: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?) -- (Crush: No, there is actually 26.) -- (Me: oooOoh, I forgot u r a qt! So its acdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz?) -- (Crush: You forgot the D) -- (Me: That's not needed yet ;])
What letter is really hot? T
C = cOCK O = CoCK C = COcK K = COCk COCK = cock cock = COCK
ME SExUAL SRrY LoL
"CoComelon meme,
No matter how fast I run, I can't escape my problems - OULEH...
Nobody loves me .v."
Deez nutz!
What is the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can't hear an enzyme.
Q: Why can't orphans be gay?
A: Because they don't have anyone they can call "Daddy."