Worst Jokes Ever
Why can't orphans be gay? They don't have a closet to come from.
I miss the good old days when you could have a light joke at someone else's expense. Like doing that marital rape thing, it never used to be called that. It used to be called "serving your husband" or "wifely duties". The real joke is that it was legal until 1990.
Why is that a joke?
Because it is piss funny seeing the look on her face when she wakes up in the middle of coitus.
Why is that a joke?
Dude, come on, you want to start your day off happy or not?
Why is that a joke?
She literally looks like she just seen a ghost and sort of flops about trying to fend you off like a rag doll. It's piss funny.
No seriously, dude, why is that a joke? It sounds more like a felony.
Gnome.
Q: What do you call a shed full of black fellas?
A: Retired Farming Machinery.
What does a pedophile call an orphanage?
A supermarket.
A man was raping a woman and thought the year was 1970, and he exclaimed to the judge later that he was her husband.
She got sent to the Asylum for Hysteria.
Wait, what? Was he actually her husband?
He was a Christian, so that actually meant he was AFTER the rape.
Wait, what? The Bible doesn't say that.
Actually yes, it does, and marital rape was legal until 1990.
WAIT WHAT? That's not funny.
I'll tell ya what's funny, that you think the women have nothing to complain about.
What is the worst thing you can find out about a woman on a first date?
She claims to have been raped. Then, you know to get as far away from her as possible because she's probably a feminazi bitch.
The only letters in the alphabet that you know are "KFC."
A police officer pulls over two Catholic priests. He says he's looking for two child molesters.
The Catholic priests look at each other: "We'll do it!"
What do CG artists and porn stars have in common?
They both composite (cum pose it) at the end.
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.
I had a cake for my gender reveal party. I cut it, and the inside was yellow...
Roses are red, Violets are fine, You can be the six, And I can be the nine.
Why [doesn't] Hollywood make a good movie about holocausts?
Because it's so hard to skin Jewish characters.
You look sexy with that rope around your neck.
What's the difference between my arm and legs? Nothing. I slit both of them.
What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
Reali-tea.
What happens when a frog's car breaks down?
It gets toad away!
You're so skinny that the professor thought you were the skeleton.
What do you call a girl furry?
A pussy cat.