Worst Jokes Ever
What did Hitler kill himself with? A "Nein"-millimeter.
Michael Jackson went into an Italian restaurant and died because he choked on 9-year-old meatballs.
What do hookers and porn stars have in common? They get paid for sex and get STD's.
Did you know that they are making a movie about the four boys who lost their lives on the ice? They're calling the movie "The Lost Boys."
Scientists are trying to find a cure for anorexics. It should be a piece of cake!
What do you call an emo with no legs?
Emobile.
I turned off all the beeping machines in the hospital. I love the peace and quiet, but I don't know why everyone is sleeping cause it's only 8 am.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a fly? It's the sound they make when they hit the windshield.
I don't think my girlfriend likes it when I take my schizophrenia meds because she always goes away when I take them.
If you really think about it, every market in Africa is a black market.
What did MC Hammer say to Michael Jackson?
"U Can't Touch Kids."
How do Chinese people name their baby? They throw pots down the stairs: bing bong ching chong.
What was found under MJ's pillow after he died?
Billy's jeans.
Short girl: "How do you see up there?"
Tall guy: "Who said that?"
I spit my drink out and then ran away.
What did the cannibal do after eating all the vegetables?
Sold the wheelchairs on eBay.
What kind of music do wind turbines like?
They are big, heavy metal fans!
If a black person calls you a cracker, let them say it. You can say things they can't say, like, "Thanks for the warning, officer!"
George Floyd is truly breathtaking.
Jesus takes his disciples to a bar.
"13 pints of water, please," he says to the barman.
"Oh, fuck, not you again," the barman replies.
"You boys are about to see something real special," says Jesus.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Queen.
Queen who?
You don't know the queen? You're crazy!