Worst Jokes Ever
Autistic jokes have been very popular recently. In other words, I've been very popular recently.
A wife was cleaning her 12-year-old son’s bedroom when she found a load of serious bondage gear and fetish mags. She asked her husband, “What do we do?”
The husband said, “I’m no expert, but I wouldn’t fucking spank him.”
My friend Liam has a hairline [if you can even call it a hairline] so bad it keeps going back for miles.
Guy, your hairline was the reason Adolf Hitler said, "Let there be war!"
My friend Josh made a joke about Liam's hairline, even though his ears are so big and his face looks like a monkey... if they were white.
Roses are red, violets are blue, she's only red bc she sucked you.
My wife told me she’ll slam my head into the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer.
I’m not too worried—I think she’s jokingdkdkslalkdlkfjslfjslksdlkfjuahehwhgwdklaljdf.
What does Michael Jackson like to drink? Tea-he-he.
A mother and son were in the backyard, and the son finished building a shed. The mother says, "You're the best husband ever."
How does the non binary kill white en Amy?
They/them.
What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?
Both are lying when they say "I'm a real boy."
(I'm a trans man myself lol)
What's the difference between saying "bloody" in America and in the U.K.?
In the U.K., it's a swear word.
In America, it's a family reunion.
A kid in a wheelchair got hurt yesterday. I got detention yesterday because I told him to walk it off.
What do the Titanic and the Sixth Sense have in common?
Icy dead people.
What are a group of depressed people called?
A suicide squad.
Why can’t Indian women drive?
They’re too used to riding their camels.
Can we have sex, because if we don't, I can't like you, big, thick booty!
So let's have sex in bed, you sexy woman, or behind a tree, because shoving my dick in your pussy is a very nice feeling while sucking your ass.
Which animal is the least trustworthy?
You see a kid on the side of the street crying, so you go up to them and say, "Where are your parents?" The kid says, "What are parents?"
What did the parent say to Michael Jackson?
"Get off my kid!"