How did Stephen hawking die?

Windows didn’t update in time

Rust in peace

What’s green and has wheels?

Grass. I lied about the wheels.

Random guy: come on bin laden, time is ticking. Get it, ticking. OK I’ll leave.

I joined the military for the group showers

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

9/11victims, they went through 87 stories in 7seconds

How do you fit 1000 babies in a swimming pool? A blender. How do you get them out? Slurp them up with a straw.

What’s the fastest way to Shepherd’s Bush?

Up Shepherd’s leg.

Why do they bury Germans 20 feet down when they die, instead of the usual 6 feet? Because deep down, Germans are ok.

IF a person walks off a hundred foot cliff and half way down screams why did I do that. Then a second person walks off the same one hundred foot cliff and screams the same verse “why did I do that,” then another person walks off the cliff and screams the same line" why did I do that" and the next person the same thing. What do you call that? (Stupid People)

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Por que.

Por que who?

“That’s all, folks,” in the words of Por que Pig.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Robin.

Robin who?

Robin you, that is who.

If you overdose on Viagra, do you die… hard?

What do inner city schools and database have in common?

Their problems are usually caused by a race condition.

Why is the B so cool because it’s in between AC

Pacman 200 balls joke

What’s the difference betwen a alligator and a crocrodile? One of them you’ll see in a while and the other one you’ll se later

“I think Hannibal Lecter is soooo sexy… I’d like him to eat me.”

what did the skeleton say to shrek? jump on me I can have two layers of skin to

He died by choking on his right shoulder