Worst Jokes Ever
Said the man angered to his wife:
"Now stop the damn suicide tries! Just look at the gas bill!?"
In the hospital, I saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep. The ICU was going beep beep beep. I think that's why she can't sleep, so I turned it off. She's asleep forever now. Nighty night.
The fourth month (symbolizing 41%) on the first day, transgenders mourn for the trans suicides.
That day is called "April Fool's."
I told a girl she was cute, and she said, "Aw, tysm."
How does she know I have that?
Women have ass and tits... but men have dick and rights.
Was threatened with legal action off my postman this morning!! I was stood havin a smoke when he asked if my dog bites, I said no. Halfway down my path the dog jumped up and bit him on his testicles!! Screaming out in pain he Said I was a lying bitch cos I told him my dog didnt bite!! Told him mine doesnt!! that wasnt my dog!!!
What do you call 2 nuns and a prostitute that play football?
Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
When Chris Brown heard he wasn’t the only one to hit a woman.
Stop the cap.
Did you know that Jeffrey Dahmer was the first person to try Five Guys?
Toast is like parents.
If they are both black, you have nothing to eat.
When you accidentally turn in your suicide note instead of your essay to the teacher, but she still gives you an A.
What did Jesus say when he was left hanging on the cross?
"Well this is one hell of a way to spend my Easter vacation!"
What has two wings and an arrow?
The Chinese telephone, wing wing, arrow.
what did Bruce Willis say after he had a vasectomy? "snip-y ki yay motherfucker"
When your girlfriend has been vomiting for 2 weeks and you find out she’s not pregnant.
Bf-*yes I knew it was a prank*
She has cancer.
NORTH INDIANS: Decent, but overrated af. They are the only thing that comes to many ppl's minds when someone says "Indian".
SOUTH INDIANS: Decent, but underrated af. Many ppl don't even know they exist. They are literally asked if they are North Indians.
WEST AND EAST: Decent but underrated af.
Yo mama so fat, she needs 17 iPhones to take a selfie.
Your mum stinks of disabled people.
Wanna know why?
I don't know either, you tell me.
"Karma is the guy on the Chiefs, Coming straight home to me."
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.