Worst Jokes Ever
Why can't the USA and England play chess?
USA has no towers and England has no queen.
Today I feel Qatari. Today I feel Arab. Today I feel African. Today I feel gay. Today I feel disabled. Today I feel a migrant worker.
Why did the slave go to college?
To get his master's degree.
Jeffrey Dahmer and his mother are having dinner.
His mother says, “I don’t like your friends.”
Then Jeff says, “You can eat the potatoes.”
What did the twin tower say to the other?
"I need to catch this plane."
You're so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are K, F, and C.
I can see my future in your forehead.
What's the quickest way to get money besides winning the lottery?
Leaving your son with Michael Jackson.
What do parents tell little boys to make them behave?
"Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jackson will get you!"
Wanna know why I don’t make suicidal jokes?
Because I am one.
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they get a corner, they build a shop on it.
What does Michael Jackson and Jeffery Dahmer have in common?
They both enjoy kids' company.
Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?
Person 2: Dunno, what’s the minor population?
So 6 is scared of 7 because 7, 8, 9, but why did 10 have PTSD?
He was stuck in the middle of 9/11.
Your hairline is so far back, it left before your dad.
A boy is about to be sentenced for killing his parents. He begs the judge to spare his life. The judge asks for one good reason he should be shown any mercy. The boy replies, "I’m an orphan, your honor."
I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but then I turned myself around.
What does an armed bank robbery and Michael Jackson have in common?
Someone gets hurt.
Me: Wanna hear a joke about my chin?
Friend: Nah, dude. It'll be too long.
What do orphans like about tattoos? They stick around.