what’s better then throwing dead babe’s? catching them after with a pitch fork

My sister argued with me that you can’t make a car out of spaghetti, you should have seen her face when I drove pasta

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, No atmosphere.

whats the difference between Tyler and a rooster? A rooster says cock a doodle doo, Tyler says any cock will do.

Why do u make fun of disabled people they

cant stand up for themselves.

The number 13? Not on my watch

A kid is watching tv and sees an ad about adopting an animal,he then turns to his mother and says “do we have to adopt a donkey” “no” replied the mom, “but we decided to do it…we adopted you”.

My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa, I asked “Why is it because he gives people presents?” Jimmy told me “No it’s because I hear so many good things about him but and how he’s gonna come home, but never see him.”

Have you heard about the canoe sale down the road? It was an ordeal.

yo mamma so ugly that even god said be gone DEMON!

Some people think Bin Laden is dead, but some think hes alive.

He is the Al-Qaeda Elvis

how do you know when your wife is cheating on you?

  • she comes home with sparkles on her face

Roses are red… Orphanes are blue… I killed the preist so i could rape them to.

Why did sally cross the road? She didn’t wear her seatbelt

Why did the chipmunk swim on its back?

To keep its nuts dry

I heard a joke about heavy metal earlier. It was pretty ironic.

Why did the child cross the road? To get to the church. Knock-Knock. Who’s there? The Priest… Lets go to my office, because I’m totally not a pedophile.

What did the first guy say to the second?

Wanna shove a banana up yo ass?

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