Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Things to kids:

Dragapult: "Ooh, look! Some ammo."

A Good Parent: "My baby!"

Michael Jackson: (HeeHee)

Today is Good Friday, so there will be no meat for us to eat. Instead, we have to do what lesbians do and eat fish.

What kind of club is every parent afraid of their kid joining?

The Mikey Jackson club.

How do you spell the name of the most dangerous pedophile?

M-I-C-H-A-E-L J-O-S-E-P-H J-A-C-K-S-O-N

A beautiful woman is on the ledge of a bridge about to commit suicide.

A homeless man walks by her and says, "What are you doing?"

She says, "I'm going to jump!"

The homeless man says, "If you're going to kill yourself, do you wanna have sex with me first?"

The woman replies, "No way, creep! Never that!"

The homeless man doesn't seem bothered and says, "That's fine, I'll just wait 'til you're at the bottom."

  • 2

    • I do consider Johnny Depp to be a victim of domestic violence.

    Just like how I consider a children's hospital run by Michael Jackson and a retirement home run by Harold Shipman to be both safe places to be in.

  • 1

    • I wondered if becoming a furry could help me escape my crippling depression...

    Unfortunately, the veterinarian insisted that he still wasn't going to euthanize me.

  • 1

    • I called a Suicide Helpline, but they didn't help me commit suicide.

    Tbh they really left me hanging there.

    How did the man with no arms commit suicide?

    We'll never know - he didn't leave a note.

    A homeless man sits in front of a Home Depot. A man walking out of the store hands him some money and asks, "Why are you in front of the Home Depot?" And the man says, "Isn't it obvious? Hoping somebody accidentally drops the house they just bought."

  • 1

    • White girl: So this crystal cures my depression and helps me lose weight?

    Me holding a rock of meth: YES!!!

    Why do Nazis not wear necklaces, rings, and bracelets? Because they hate jewelry.

  • 1

    • A husband and wife at custody court. The judge looks sternly at the ex-wife.

    Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child?"

    Ex-wife: "I brought him into this world, so I should have custody of him."

    Judge: "That is a simple yet good reason."

    Then the judge looks toward the ex-husband.

    Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?"

    The ex-husband thought long and hard about his response. After a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out, is it mine or the machine's?"