Worst Jokes Ever
If you're ever bored, try scaring the sh*t out of an Asian to see their eyes open for the first time.
A Russian wedding should be called a Soviet Union.
Did you see that Chinese man with no legs?
No, I'm blind.
Stop ruining my jokes.
Isn't that the Chinese man with no legs' fault?
It's not like He Go Ann Hi Weh.
How do you make a pool table laugh? Tickle its balls.
Why are orphans good at being a criminal?
Because they're not wanted.
What did the talking rope say to the man?
"Just hang in there."
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
Mom: That's why your dad left you.
Me: Why?
Mom: I mean look at you, depressed, suicidal, and unhappy, always anxious, and other mental health issues.
Me: How is that my fault? You are a rude mom!
Mom: Your dad had a heart attack two weeks before you were born, because you are ugly!
(This actually did happen in real life.)
What do you call a special police officer?
Officer down!
Why can't orphans be gay? They don't have a closet to come from.
Q: What do you call a shed full of black fellas?
A: Retired Farming Machinery.
I don't struggle with depression, I'm used to it.
What does a pedophile call an orphanage?
A supermarket.
"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth, including an increase in child abuse," said the village priest.
The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison, they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media.
"Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!"
"Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey," they reported.
The village priest is living at his majesty's convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.
"Why is this a joke? It's not even funny!" said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.
What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?
A police officer pulls over two Catholic priests. He says he's looking for two child molesters.
The Catholic priests look at each other: "We'll do it!"
What is the worst thing you can find out about a woman on a first date?
She claims to have been raped. Then, you know to get as far away from her as possible because she's probably a feminazi bitch.
The only letters in the alphabet that you know are "KFC."
What do CG artists and porn stars have in common?
They both composite (cum pose it) at the end.
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't have a closet to come out of.