Worst Jokes Ever

What's one thing a homing missile can't kill?

An orphan.

I heard that to slow the growth of fire, you use a flame retardant.

So I threw my stupid son in the flames when my house caught on fire!

Chinese always proud of their principle in business.

The fact is only products they copy that go international, except for COVID.

My dad smashed my PS5, so I smashed his wife.

What is Michael Jackson's favorite place to visit?

"Hee-Heegypt!"

All those people claiming Donald Trump is like Hitler need a reality check.

After all, it's not like Donald Trump could write a book.

Your hairline goes back to when your dad left you.

what do you call a flat road named after George Floyd?

Flat neck road.

I'll always remember my grandpa's last words.

"Are you getting the knife?"

Do you know about the new movie Disney made just for cancer kids? It's called Finding Kemo.

Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?

Because you can't have medicine on an empty stomach.

Hey girl, are you a diamond pick?

'Cause I'm as hard as obsidian.

Came across the headline this morning whilst reading the paper...

"Woman beats off Rapist in carpark!"

I suppose that was a fair compromise!

What were Paul Walker's last words?

I dk probably "WATCH THE FUCKING TREE!"

I was gobsmacked when I encountered the Jacko special at a Bunnings sausage sizzle. A 40-year-old sausage on 7-year-old white bread.

I was going to tell a time traveling joke, but you guys didn't like it.

Urban areas are filled with terrorists, feminists, liberals, and murderers. Which one is not like the others? Murderers because they don't pretend to have a cause.

Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person.

"Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf Hitler, 1945.

What's the difference between an orphan and a Chinese kid?

The Chinese kid has a home.

I came across a dead body in the woods. I liked it so much I came again.