Worst Jokes Ever
A man was about to go into the bar with his dog when he realized the sign said, “No pets allowed!” He was about to walk away when another guy walked up with his dog. The 2nd man put on dark shades and said, “Just pretend you're blind!” He walked in with his dog, got a drink, then left.
The 1st man did the same thing, but when he walked in, the bartender said, “You know your ‘guide dog’ is a chihuahua, right?”
The man said, “They gave me a damn Chihuahua?!”
I went on a walk last night with a really hot girl. Then she noticed me, and we went for a run.
What is George Floyd's pickup line?
You are breathtaking.
What's in a Michael Jackson hotdog?
A 50-year-old piece of meat.
A 12-year-old bun.
Question: Why did Donald Trump convert to Judaism?
Answer: Because he heard that Vladimir Putin likes to drink vodka with "Orange Jews"!
What do you call a crazy lesbian?
Fruit Loops.
How do you get a boy to share something? Bring in Michael Jackson's bed.
What do the Spanish people call child abuse? Pedrophile.
I, for one, wish Donald Trump was President again. It's been a while since we had a presidential assassination.
What hit the ground first in 9/11? The people.
You know when people say a joke about living?
That's because we are all living a joke.
You know, they didn't add the word "retard" into the dictionary for nothing.
Why can't Asians play baseball? Because they will eat the bat.
The daughter milked her dad. It turns out it wasn't milk...
What can an Olympic runner do that Hitler can't?
Finish a race.
My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me and said, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"
"I know that everyone is allowed to act stupid once in a while, but you’re really abusing that privilege."
Why does Darth Vader always choke people?
Because he wants them to feel what his Sith Lord does to him in bed.
Why does Yoda like to get molested? Because he likes the Force.
What is something feminists crave but will never get? Semen.