Worst Jokes Ever
Chuck Norris strangled someone with a cordless phone.
What is the difference between an orphan and a cat?
The cat is actually cute.
Yo, everyone! My sis is pregnant, and I’m gonna be a dad!
What's the best thing about an abortion joke??
No one gets offended.
What's the difference between a cop car and a hedgehog?
With a cop car, all the pricks are on the inside.
Hey Siri, what’s in my bank account?
You stupid shit, piece of elephant crap, you’re so ugly that when you were born, your nickname was bastard! You’re so ugly, that your crush fainted in front of you and was proclaimed dead! You’re so ugly that-
(Destroys phone cutely)
People are pushing for a new black Lady Liberty coin. I can't wait to use black people as currency again.
My opinion on abortion is very divided. Like, on the one hand, I like the idea of killing babies, but I'm not really into this thing about women being able to make choices.
I had to go to the doctor for a prostate exam. When he stuck it in, I started to squirm, so he held onto my shoulder.
I thought it was going well, until he grabbed my other shoulder as well.
Hey, I’m George, and this is how to figure out if someone is a psychopath.
Go into someone’s search history, and find “Cuphead ship fanfic”.
Hey George, why do you have Russia x America countryhumans?
If you're fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
Horrible Jokes, Part One- A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing. He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.
What do you call a blind German shepherd?
A Nazi.
Q: What is a lesbian's version of a cock block?
A: A beaver dam.
Q: What do you call a group of transgender women?
A: The X-Men.
What did the South tower get instead of pepperoni pizza?
It got a bunch of plane.
So, this guy, right? He has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog.
About 2 weeks after he loses everything, he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "What do you mean by 'blowing chunks'?" says the boss. The man replies with, "Chunks is the name of my dog..."
I'm autistic, and I find these so funny.
Which one would be better to fuck, a fat bitch or a skinny bitch?
Q: What did the porn actress say when she opened the door?
A: Make sure to come upstairs!