Worst Jokes Ever
If a man says you’re ugly, he likes you.
If a woman says you’re ugly, she’s just jealous.
If a child says you’re ugly, well, you’re ugly.
Mom, how were hoomans made? Son, it’s because Adam and Eve were brought down by God and made babies!
Dad, how were hoomans made? Son, us humans evolved from monkeys!
Mom, Dad said hoomans were evolved from monkeys, is that true? Oh son, (ruffles smol man’s hair) your dad was telling you his side of the family, and I was telling my side :)
Q: What is a lesbian's version of a cock block?
A: A beaver dam.
Q: What do you call a group of transgender women?
A: The X-Men.
What did the South tower get instead of pepperoni pizza?
It got a bunch of plane.
I'm autistic, and I find these so funny.
Which one would be better to fuck, a fat bitch or a skinny bitch?
Q: What did the porn actress say when she opened the door?
A: Make sure to come upstairs!
Every culture has weird food.
Australians eat vegemite. The British eat haggis. The French eat snails. The Chinese eat dogs. The Americans eat their young siblings' private parts.
Why do orphans go to the ancient pyramids for vacation?
In hope to find a mummy.
Madeline McCann must have been homeless or something, she was sure eager for the free candy.
One day, a priest and a nun went to play golf together.
In the first shot, the priest missed his shot and said, "Fuck, I missed it!"
The nun replied, "Hey, you should not curse."
In the second shot, the priest missed his shot again and said, "Fuck, I missed again!"
The nun replied, "Hey, stop swearing, or else God will punish you."
In the next shot, the priest missed once again. He shouted, "Fuck this, this game is bullshit!"
The nun replied, "Enough! God is definitely going to punish you anytime now."
Suddenly, a thunderbolt struck the nun and killed her. The clouds separated from the sky, and there was a voice in the sky saying, "Oh, fuck, I missed!"
I'm pretty sure that 9/11 was the biggest game of Jenga ever recorded in history.
A brunette fought and didn't get raped.
A blonde thought and did get raped.
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
They never get love.
What's the difference in Japanese Kamikaze and 9/11?
There is none, they both go up in flames.
Me: I found a group of furries in the woods.
Voice in back: Well, it looks like we're going huntin'.
Man, I don’t need Viagra when I see Mara!
Yo mama's so dumb, when a robber stole her TV, she said, "You forgot the remote!"
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special Forces.