Worst Jokes Ever
I conducted a survey. I asked 100 women what kind of shampoo they used while they were in the shower? 98 of them said, "How the fuck did you get in here?" 😂😂😂
I SH so much, even when I die and become a ghost, you can see red stripes floating around the room.
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?
They both leave children's rooms with an empty sack.
What did Michael Jackson say when Anne got hurt?
"♫ ANNIE, ARE YOU OKAY? ARE YOU OKAY, ANNIE? ANNIE ARE YOU OKAY. BUT JUST TELL US, THAT YOU'RE OKAY. ♫"
What's in common with Michael Jackson and a phone?
Kids play with both of them.
I used to keep asking a woman if I can rape her until she got so annoyed and said, "Stop asking me."
Where do feminists go when they die? "Hell's Kitchen."
What do you call a ruptured Chinese man?
One Hung Lo.
What do you call an Arab and a black man flying a plane?
Pilots. You racist f*ck.
My friend asked, "What's that on your arm?" I replied, "Oh, this? I didn't have enough storage on my phone to download Fruit Ninja so I had to improvise a little bit."
I wish they taught 9/11 at school.
It would make these jokes more explosive. 🧨
Why can’t the blind man find love?
It’s called love at first sight.
If you're born deaf, what language would you think in?
I was asked at school to draw a line across the paper, but instead I showed them my wrists.
Q: Why can't science be combined with religion?
A: 'Cause science creates skyscrapers and planes, while religion combines them.
Why did Michael Jackson rush to H&M?
They had new Billie Jeans!
A vampire goes to the bakery.
Vampire: "One bun, please."
Baker: "But you're a vampire, don't you need blood?"
Vampire: "Yes, there is an accident outside and I need something to dip."
Life would be so much easier if grass was emo.
Because it would cut itself.
One thing that Johnny Depp and Michael Jackson love to do? Sniff on little white crack.
One time, the quiet kid hacked the speakers in a school. Next thing you know, "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster The People starts playing.