Worst Jokes Ever
Did you see that Chinese man with no legs?
No, I'm blind.
Stop ruining my jokes.
Isn't that the Chinese man with no legs' fault?
It's not like He Go Ann Hi Weh.
Anybody who doesn't like Pepsi is a Coke-sucker!
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
What do you call a Chinese person with 1 leg? Tie Son Whu.
Mom: That's why your dad left you.
Me: Why?
Mom: I mean look at you, depressed, suicidal, and unhappy, always anxious, and other mental health issues.
Me: How is that my fault? You are a rude mom!
Mom: Your dad had a heart attack two weeks before you were born, because you are ugly!
(This actually did happen in real life.)
What do you call a special police officer?
Officer down!
Why can't orphans be gay? They don't have a closet to come from.
I miss the good old days when you could have a light joke at someone else's expense. Like doing that marital rape thing, it never used to be called that. It used to be called "serving your husband" or "wifely duties". The real joke is that it was legal until 1990.
Why is that a joke?
Because it is piss funny seeing the look on her face when she wakes up in the middle of coitus.
Why is that a joke?
Dude, come on, you want to start your day off happy or not?
Why is that a joke?
She literally looks like she just seen a ghost and sort of flops about trying to fend you off like a rag doll. It's piss funny.
No seriously, dude, why is that a joke? It sounds more like a felony.
Q: What do you call a shed full of black fellas?
A: Retired Farming Machinery.
What does a pedophile call an orphanage?
A supermarket.
A man was raping a woman and thought the year was 1970, and he exclaimed to the judge later that he was her husband.
She got sent to the Asylum for Hysteria.
Wait, what? Was he actually her husband?
He was a Christian, so that actually meant he was AFTER the rape.
Wait, what? The Bible doesn't say that.
Actually yes, it does, and marital rape was legal until 1990.
WAIT WHAT? That's not funny.
I'll tell ya what's funny, that you think the women have nothing to complain about.
What is the worst thing you can find out about a woman on a first date?
She claims to have been raped. Then, you know to get as far away from her as possible because she's probably a feminazi bitch.
The only letters in the alphabet that you know are "KFC."
What do CG artists and porn stars have in common?
They both composite (cum pose it) at the end.
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.
Why [doesn't] Hollywood make a good movie about holocausts?
Because it's so hard to skin Jewish characters.
Roses are red, Violets are fine, You can be the six, And I can be the nine.
What's the difference between my arm and legs? Nothing. I slit both of them.
You're so skinny that the professor thought you were the skeleton.
What do you call a girl furry?
A pussy cat.