Worst Jokes Ever
Is Google male or female? Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
Donald Trump is proudly anti-woke. He has been falling asleep in his court cases every morning!
Your move, Ron DeSantis.
What do you call a black goldfish? A gigger.
Little Johnny walked into class with a black eye, and the teacher said, "Why do you have a black eye?"
Johnny said, "Well, me and my parents have to share a bed, and my dad asked me if I was asleep and I said no, so he smacked me."
The teacher said, "Well tonight, don't say anything."
The next day, Johnny walked in with another black eye, and the teacher said, "Why do you have another black eye?" Little Johnny said, "Well, last night, I did what you said and didn't say anything when my dad asked me if I was asleep. A few minutes later, my dad said he was coming, and my mom said she was coming too. They usually don't go anywhere without me so I said 'Wait for me, I'm coming too.'"
Jack and Jill went up a hill so Jack could eat her candy. But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock because Jill’s real name is Randy.
Kelly Clarkson and Ian Watkins of the Lostprophets both walk into a bar. The bartender asked, "Hitting on some 2-year-olds today?" It may have been an innocuous question, if it weren't for the fact that the bartender is Chris Hansen.
What's the difference between a parachute and a coffin?
One brings you safely to the ground, and the other is a last resort when you've already hit it.
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
What does gum in my d*ck have in common?
Both get chewed on by little kids.
Me: Brings in missing child.
Police: OMG this kid has been missing for 3 months. Here is your reward.
Me: Oh, cool.
NEXT DAY
Me: Brings in 8 other kids.
Police :0 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I found Jeffrey Epstein’s diary the other day.
The last entry was about 12 years old.
An Emo kid in a tree falls. At the same time an apple falls from the same tree, what hits the ground first? The apple would be due to the kid's rope and noose.
I never forget my grandpa's last words.
"Are you still holding the ladder?"
What do you call a rapper who's also a firefighter?
BLAZE RHYMES.
What’s the difference between God and Hitler?
God made thousands of bread, Hitler made thousands of toast.
What is George Floyd’s best pick up line?
"You're breathtaking."
I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent. So I said, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?" One of them snarled at me, "It's Wales, Dumbo!" So I corrected myself, "My apologies, so are you two whales from Ireland?"
I hate autistic kids and ADHD people because they are stupid, special, retarded, brainless freaks, and they are stupid.
What does Jeffrey Dahmer and Travis Scott have in common?
Eight dead people.
Did you hear about that Muslim party?
It was a blast!