Worst Jokes Ever
What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?
A hypoteNUSE!
Why did God build a stairway to heaven?
So all the disabled people will have to go to hell.
Me to friend: I'm homeschooled.
Friend: If I was homeschooled, I'd kms.
Me: Oh, I already tried that.
Friend 1: *turns off lights*
Friend 2: *is there with us*
Me: Woah! Where did friend 2 go?!
People think Kelly Clarkson shops at Wal-Mart because she's a sloppy redneck. No, it's because toddlers' pants are 75% off everyday!
Having homosexual parents must be terrible.
Either you have a double dosage of dad jokes or you are stuck in a cycle of "go ask your mom".
How did Mary get pregnant with baby Jesus?
God fucked her.
Them: What's on your arm?
Me: I'm training to breathe fire ;)
What’s the worst thing to do at a funeral?
The corpse.
I started a new job. My boss said, "Hi, my name is Rebecca, but people call me Becky." I said, "My name is Kyle, but people call me Dick."
She said, "How do you get Dick from Kyle?" I replied, "You just ask nicely."
Today I was asked to go out by 17 women. Well, I was in the women's bathroom. 💀
Call me a worn-out sweater because I’m hanging on by a thread.
That’s about to become a rope around my neck.
I was laughing my ass off when the 12-year-old child realized the door to my basement was unlocked, and he didn't need to cannibalize his two friends in a desperate attempt for survival. 🤣🤣🤣
My teacher walked up to the emo kid and told him, "I like your striped red and tan gloves." And she asked, "Where did you get them?" The emo kid replied, "Oh, I made the red stripes myself."
My lesbian friends bought me a nice watch for my birthday. I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch."
What do you call an artist with a brown finger?
Picasshole.
Even though I look completely white, I am apparently 70% black!
Until I realized that it was a mouth swab test.
I told her she needed to put her dog on a leash, and her boyfriend is still on a leash to this day. 😮💨
Today in 3rd grade English, the teacher asked the kids a question, "What turns on when you take your clothes off?"
Little Elsa blushed and screamed, "You can't ask that!"
The English teacher repeats the question and Elsa screams, "I'll tell my parents on you and get you fired!"
Finally, Little Tim raises his hand, "The shower, ma'am."
The English teacher clapped her hands, "Good job, Tim, and as for you Elsa, you do not have the body for that."
A friend of mine loves to play Roulette, so I decided to introduce him to Russian Roulette. It blew his mind.