Worst Jokes Ever
Men should pay for the first date, that’s why it’s called a (men)u.
Then women should do the dishes, that’s why they call it a dish wash(her).
Women have ass and tits... but men have dick and rights.
Was threatened with legal action off my postman this morning!! I was stood havin a smoke when he asked if my dog bites, I said no. Halfway down my path the dog jumped up and bit him on his testicles!! Screaming out in pain he Said I was a lying bitch cos I told him my dog didnt bite!! Told him mine doesnt!! that wasnt my dog!!!
What do you call 2 nuns and a prostitute that play football?
Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
Did you know that Jeffrey Dahmer was the first person to try Five Guys?
Toast is like parents.
If they are both black, you have nothing to eat.
When you accidentally turn in your suicide note instead of your essay to the teacher, but she still gives you an A.
What did Jesus say when he was left hanging on the cross?
"Well this is one hell of a way to spend my Easter vacation!"
What has two wings and an arrow?
The Chinese telephone, wing wing, arrow.
what did Bruce Willis say after he had a vasectomy? "snip-y ki yay motherfucker"
What's the similarity between Christmas stuffing and my penis?
I like them both inside dead animals, because alive animals feel too much like men, and then I'd cum too quick.
Yo mama so fat, she needs 17 iPhones to take a selfie.
Your mum stinks of disabled people.
Wanna know why?
I don't know either, you tell me.
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.
What’s another name for cumming in a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.
Yo mama so poor that when she went to KFC, she had to lick other people's fingers.
Why is reverse cowgirl banned in Alabama? Because you never turn your back on family.
What happens when Batman sees Catwoman?
The Dark Knight Rises.
Anyone want to eat me up? I'm in that kind of mood right now.
Guns don't kill people, black people kill people.