Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

I told myself I needed to stop drinking so much. But I'm not about to start listening to some drunk weirdo who talks to themself.

What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?

One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.

It took me years to figure out the Oreos served in Lunchables are knock offs. On the cover it says “Chocolate Crème Cookies.” I’ve believed this lie for as long as I can remember. Unless they were real back then? I don’t even know at this point. They sure as hell aren’t real now!

Person 1: "I love KFC."

Person 2: "Yeah, me too!"

Person 1: "How many have you gotten?"

Person 2: "How am I supposed to remember how many buckets of chicken I have ordered!?"

Person 1: "Chicken? What chicken? What do you think KFC stands for?"

Person 2: "Kentucky Fried Chicken?"

Person 1: "What? I thought it meant kidnapping foster children."

Person 2: "BLOODY WHATT??"

I have a question: Does aging affect corpses, too?

Just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!

Why do Chinese people like playing Among Us?

It’s the only place they can vote!

I’ve always been a bit insecure about having thicker thighs.

Now I realize it allows me to fit more scars!

Why didn’t Anne Frank just finish her diary?

Concentration problems.