Worst Jokes Ever
What do K-mart and Michael Jackson have in common?
They both have boys' pants half off.
Q: How are Asians like a box of chocolates?
A: Either way they'll kill your dog.
What does Michael say when he laughs? He he.
Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra and Donald Trump?
A: Erection fraud. (Just a joke.)
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an Aussie bloke in Bali?
Both are expert drunks, but the Aussie is 100 times better kept. Johnny Depp, in contrast, looks like a demented leader of a violent drug cartel.
What do White Castle sliders and Michael Jackson have in common? They have their meat in tiny wet buns.
What do you call a Panera Bread after vanishing?
Panera Fade.
In preschool, I confessed my love to my crush, and she rejected me. As heartbroken as I was, I sucked it up and went back to teaching.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an orphan?
An orphan is more capable of speaking clearly.
What's the worst thing to say at a funeral? "Hi guys, welcome to my unboxing video!"
What does a roller coaster and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids ride for free.
Wacko Jacko bleached his skin, lit his head on fire, slept in a chamber, abused his pet monkey, built an amusement park in his own backyard, had toys as decor for his home, slept with little boys, raped little boys. Jacko was Florida Man before Florida Man.
What is BK but gay?
Bgay.
What's bigger than the Milky Way?
Michael Jackson's nose.
Did you hear about Johnny Depp's shelter for abused women? It's going as well as Michael Jackson's children's hospital!
Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning?
Because unlike the Twin Towers it can dodge.
Q: What did people say when Kim Kardashian was at the beach?
A: Stop littering!
Pickup line for gay people:
Roses are red, Antarctica is in the south, Get on your knees, And open your mouth.
What's harder than steel?
Michel Jackson in an orphanage.
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake everyday. He had no hands or legs.
One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay.
He replied, "No." The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?" The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever." So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked. "No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before." The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?" The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."
The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"