Worst Jokes Ever
Me: Brings in missing child.
Police: OMG this kid has been missing for 3 months. Here is your reward.
Me: Oh, cool.
NEXT DAY
Me: Brings in 8 other kids.
Police :0 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I found Jeffrey Epstein’s diary the other day.
The last entry was about 12 years old.
An Emo kid in a tree falls. At the same time an apple falls from the same tree, what hits the ground first? The apple would be due to the kid's rope and noose.
I never forget my grandpa's last words.
"Are you still holding the ladder?"
What do you call a rapper who's also a firefighter?
BLAZE RHYMES.
What’s the difference between God and Hitler?
God made thousands of bread, Hitler made thousands of toast.
What is George Floyd’s best pick up line?
"You're breathtaking."
I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent. So I said, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?" One of them snarled at me, "It's Wales, Dumbo!" So I corrected myself, "My apologies, so are you two whales from Ireland?"
What does Jeffrey Dahmer and Travis Scott have in common?
Eight dead people.
I hate autistic kids and ADHD people because they are stupid, special, retarded, brainless freaks, and they are stupid.
Did you hear about that Muslim party?
It was a blast!
What is a necrophiliac's safe word?
"I'm alive!"
How is slavery different from Pokémon?
The types you can have.
Fight in the comments.
My best friend was recently gunned down in a drive-by shooting and died a virgin, but he wasn’t buried one.
A wife asked her husband, "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied, "I like your sense of humor!"
A husband comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can’t cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can’t fuck."
I only cut to find out if I'm real or cake.
A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up, and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up, so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”
What do KFC and pussy have in common?
Both are finger lickin' good, and after you are done eating, you have a box to put the bone in.