Worst Jokes Ever

Your hairline looks like the McDonald's logo.

Why is an orphan bad at hide-and-seek?

Because nobody will actually look for them.

How did the emo kid compliment the other emo kid? He said, "I like your cuts G."

Dentist said I grind in my sleep... he a real one for that.

"Brian, can I see that paper for a sec?"

Preventing suicide is best done by committing it.

I don’t see what the problem is.

The Supreme Court came up with a solution to the tampon shortage, yet all the liberals are pissed!

What do Batman and a Black man have in common?

Answer: They can't go anywhere without Robin.

Luigi and Daisy are actually Aussie! How?

They wear GREEN and GOLD! The Aussie Colors!

What is a testicle's favorite book?

Put Tony's Nuts in Your Mouth!

True Story

A CO was receiving inmates as they're being recalled from their assigned jobs to prepare for count. An inmate that had passed the officer returned bleeding through his trousers from his crotch. The inmate had an argument with his lover who had told him that he wasn't enough woman for him. As the inmate was bleeding he was crying out, "He doesn't love me anymore!"

The officer called for medical assistance and went into the assigned cell. He found the severed penis. He fished it out of the toilet and placed it in a plastic bag with ice. He claimed that the medical staff at the hospital could reattach it. He took a ribbing from his fellow officers, because most would've flushed it. I retired and months later saw a fellow officer at the store. As we caught up, I mentioned that the last incident I responded to was 'the severed penis.' The officer tells me that the inmate severed his penis again after it was reattached and flushed it himself.

A) Why don't orphans play Minecraft Online?

Q) Because Technoblade will get their I.P. address and cum to their houses!

What's the most annoying thing in the world?

When you're told you're still qualified to live.

What do you call a cat with two legs instead of four?

Dead and without use, that's what I feel like.

What does lmao launching missiles at orphanage mean?

I don't know, but it's messed up.

Why do girls not have balls?

Because they don’t.

So, I was at a funeral the other day, and it was a school shooting mass funeral. The lady beside me asked me, “What do you think was going through their heads?” And I replied, “Probably a bullet.” She was furious and said, “How dare you! You have no idea what those kids were probably going through!” And I replied, “Well, they were going through anything the bullet was going through them.”