How did Stephen Hawking die?
His PC overheated.
Worst Jokes Ever
Like if I'm fine-ish.
Comment if I'm ugly.
Don't you just love wrecking little girl's pussies? Like the tight feeling is just amazing. The great amount [of] ecstasy you feel when you cum and they get all squirmy. It's just the best.
One does not simply hand over a jar of dirt.
I was in class and we had to choose another term for words we use everyday. For kid, I chose "child"; for dog, I chose "pet"; and for wife, I chose "dishwasher."
My wife told me to hang her the salt, so I beat the shit out of her. My name's Kyle, by the way.
If your dad didn't bring the milk, what are you dipping your cookies in?
How is a woman like a road?
They both have manholes.
Yesterday I wanted to look up the term "procrastination".
I swear, I'll do it tomorrow.
The emo kid tried to give the tree a high five. Unfortunately, the tree left him hanging...
What's the only type of abortion Republicans will never do anything to prevent?
A school shooting.
You know, their family dinners must be so happy.
Me: Do you like cobble?
My friend: No.
Me: Gobble deez nuts!
Your hairline looks like the McDonald's logo.
Why is an orphan bad at hide-and-seek?
Because nobody will actually look for them.
How did the emo kid compliment the other emo kid? He said, "I like your cuts G."
Dentist said I grind in my sleep... he a real one for that.
"Brian, can I see that paper for a sec?"
Preventing suicide is best done by committing it.
