Worst Jokes Ever
Why is the bottom of the sea so dark?
Because Black people can’t swim.
A rapist, pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar. He orders a beer.
Same person.
I would never slap a woman, then I’d be destroying property.
What did the cops say when someone called him racist?
"How can I be racist? My wife's eye is black."
What do you get when you cross a Jewish person?
Christianity.
My mum told me to stop telling the suicidal jokes.
I replied with: "Don't worry, suicide would be the last thing I'd do."
My girlfriend gave me the best blowjobs, then she grew teeth.
What’s green and yellow and eats at your nuts?
Gonorrhea.
A woman approached me in the street the other day with one of those charity collection buckets and asked me: Do you know how often people die from AIDS?
I said: Now I'm no expert, but I think it's only once.
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.
What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?
A hypoteNUSE!
Why did God build a stairway to heaven?
So all the disabled people will have to go to hell.
I was thrown out of the charity food kitchen on my first night of volunteering.
All I said was, "Hurry up, some of us got homes to go to..."
Me to friend: I'm homeschooled.
Friend: If I was homeschooled, I'd kms.
Me: Oh, I already tried that.
I’m going to open my own Mexican restaurant and call it boarder patrol.
People think Kelly Clarkson shops at Wal-Mart because she's a sloppy redneck. No, it's because toddlers' pants are 75% off everyday!
Having homosexual parents must be terrible.
Either you have a double dosage of dad jokes or you are stuck in a cycle of "go ask your mom".
Them: What's on your arm?
Me: I'm training to breathe fire ;)
A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex with you, but I will make it very fast."
"I'll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I'll be done."
She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said, "Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won't even have enough time to undress himself." She agrees.
After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, "So what happened?" She responds, "The... bastard.....used.....coins."
What’s the worst thing to do at a funeral?
The corpse.