Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

9/11 wasn’t a terrorist attack, it was the world’s introduction to Sky Football

  • 1
  • Asked my dad what LGBT stands for.

    He started with "Lettuce? Bacon. Tomato. What's the 'g' for?" Obviously, I had to reply with "Garnish."

  • 2
  • Are you Hiroshima? Because I want to drop my bomb inside you.

    My son wore his new "Go Vegan" Hoodie for the first time today, and already he's been verbally abused as well as being punched, kicked, & spat on!!!!

    And he's not even left the house yet!!!

    Said the man angered to his wife:

    "Now stop the damn suicide tries! Just look at the gas bill!?"

    In the hospital, I saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep. The ICU was going beep beep beep. I think that's why she can't sleep, so I turned it off. She's asleep forever now. Nighty night.

    I told a girl she was cute, and she said, "Aw, tysm."

    How does she know I have that?

    Was threatened with legal action off my postman this morning!! I was stood havin a smoke when he asked if my dog bites, I said no. Halfway down my path the dog jumped up and bit him on his testicles!! Screaming out in pain he Said I was a lying bitch cos I told him my dog didnt bite!! Told him mine doesnt!! that wasnt my dog!!!

  • 1
  • When you accidentally turn in your suicide note instead of your essay to the teacher, but she still gives you an A.