What do you call a religious drug addict? A crystal methodist.
Why are Indian people bad at Monopoly
Because whenever they hit the corner they build a shop
What pronouns would Michael Jackson have used as a Gender Identifier? “He/he.”
Did you know that people say Michael Jackson only became a pedophile when he was white? Lucky for him, if he was black he would have been found guilty.
What’s the worst thing about being suicidal? The school shooter will always spare you.
Why does the military recruit orphans? Because homing missiles don’t target them
What’s a joke that an orphan has never heard before? A dad joke.
What’s an orphan’s favorite movie character? Harry Potter.
What do you do when you finish a magazine in the hospital? Reload and keep firing.
Why aren’t Make-A-Wish kids allowed to fly? Because they rarely make it out of the terminal.
What’s the only positive thing about Freddie Mercury’s death? The HIV test results.
What is the movie orphans relate to the most? Spider-Man: No way home
What’s the difference between orphans and blind children? None. Neither can see their parents
How much drugs did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill two and half men.
What’s the only plus for someone who burns to death? They get a discount at the crematorium
Did you see the dyslexic kid try to write down “funeral”? No? Shame, it was real fun
Do you know that “I’m sorry” and “I apologize” usually mean the same thing? Except at a funeral.
Did you hear about the young man who brought floral arrangements in the shape of a life jacket on his friend’s funeral who drowned last week? Everyone was furious but he explained, “It’s what he would have wanted.”
Why did the emo swallow an alarm clock? So he could wake up inside
What did the blind kid say after touching the emo kid’s hand? “I ain’t reading all that.”
