Worst Jokes Ever
If you've spent less time inside your mother than your father has, you just might be from Alabama!
Me: What has two legs and bleeds?
Friend: Um, women? Obviously?
Me: Actually, half a dog. So you're still right.
Kelly Clarkson may be able to shed her weight [through pills], but she will never be able to shed the fact that she admitted herself that she molested her children when they were toddlers.
How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightbulb?
Steven.
Where do poor Italians live?
The spaghetto.
What concert only costs 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
What do you call a necrophiliac gangbang?
Cracking open a cold one with the boys.
I remember my first day back when working at a camp. I was so surprised when the trains arrived.
What do you call a U.S. border hopper?
A Mexican jumping bean.
A rapist, pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar.
He orders a beer.
Question; Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In" Freezer?
Answer; It's because that is where EVERYONE goes to "Hang Their Meat"!
Which is more disabling, autism, ADHD, or Down syndrome?
Me traveling back in time to tell Americans there will be a big tsunami on 9/11/2001, and to survive it they have to climb the two tallest buildings in New York.
If you're fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
Hitler was talking about how to fight in WW2 when someone sneezed while Hitler was giving a speech, so Hitler yelled, "WHO SNEEZED ROW 1? DID ANYONE SNEEZE?" They said no, and Hitler shot everybody. Same for row 2 & 3, but in row 4 someone nervous said, "Me, I'm sorry." Then Hitler said, "Bless you."
I can't not believe you stupid fucks. This isn't funny. Just like a bunch of cunts not to believe there is nothing can't do.
BTW what do you call a manly woman's cunt? Nothing. Who gives a fuck?
A black lady goes inside the drug store and asks the pharmacist, "Do you carry tampons?" Then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "Do you want the mini pads or the maxi pads?"
And then the black lady asks the pharmacist, "What is the difference?"
And then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "What is your flow like?"
And then the black lady tells the pharmacist, "Linoleum."
What do you call it when an Arab girl has an abortion?
Removing a bomb.
What do Civil War veterans and pedophiles have in common?
They both prefer Minnie (mini) balls.
Where can a gay male that is abled bodied find the location of a glory hole if he is looking for a free and anonymous blowjob from another gay male?
From a physically disabled gay male who is either at the gym 💪 💪 🏋️♂️ or at the rest area ♿️ 🚹 🚽.