Worst Jokes Ever
I love going to church to get closer to God, but my least favorite part of church has to be touching the priest’s penis.
I was going to think of a good amputee joke...
But I’m stumped.
What is the real reason why men jack off? They just enjoy killing kids.
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
What do you call a black person eating chicken, watermelon, and drinking Kool-Aid?
Reality.
9/11 wasn’t a terrorist attack, it was the world’s introduction to Sky Football
Asked my dad what LGBT stands for.
He started with "Lettuce? Bacon. Tomato. What's the 'g' for?" Obviously, I had to reply with "Garnish."
What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?
Both are lying when they say, "I'm a real boy."
Your mom is so fat that she works as a hydraulic press in a car factory!
When I’m bored, I text a random number, “I hid the body... now what?”
Roses are red, violets are blue, when The Oh Hellos saw you they said "Shoo!"
What did the Japanese man say to his friend after he killed somebody?
"That is very Wong."
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Roger.
(Roger who?)
Roger walks away, silently sobbing, having realized his mother’s Alzheimer’s is getting worse!
Why are Mexican families so big?
They don’t know how to put a condom on.
What type of gun isn’t allowed in Africa?
A water gun.
Are you Hiroshima? Because I want to drop my bomb inside you.
How do you piss off a color blind person?
Give them a Rubik's cube.
What did Jeffrey Dahmer do after dumping his first boyfriend?
Said the man angered to his wife:
"Now stop the damn suicide tries! Just look at the gas bill!?"
In the hospital, I saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep. The ICU was going beep beep beep. I think that's why she can't sleep, so I turned it off. She's asleep forever now. Nighty night.