Worst Jokes Ever

When you have erectile dysfunction, it could be expressed as the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

When God make white people he said, "FUCK I'M OUT OF PAINT!"

"My wife is so crazy," said Beatem's McSmasher.

"Why?" asked his buddy Don Caretomarch.

"She's sitting on the front verandah packing my shit in boxes!"

"You getting kicked out, bro?"

"Yeah, all I did was break every plate in the house over her head. Some people have no sense of humor."

"Is she one of them woke bitches?"

What's the difference between 5% of priests and 5% of atheists?

5% of atheists have seen a ghost.

5% of priests have spooked altar boys in the sacristy.

If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?

Tony Abbott's career.

Why are dogs different than orphans?

Because dogs don't cry for their parents.

Imagine this: You're at math class. The teacher asks you, "What's 11 * 11?" You say, "120." The teacher says, "Wrong!" You say, "How off was I?" The teacher says, "1."

Me rn: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHERES THE RAGE TABLE or something like that.

What do you call a guy in a wheelchair on fire?

Hot wheels.

I am the Titanic, and I'm looking for a place to crash tonight.

I identify as the Titanic, because I'm a wreck.

Why can't orphans be gay?

They don't have a closet to come out of.

When did the cheetah steal from the bakery?

On Black Friday!!!

I had a terrifying experience last night. I was alone in the house having a bath... when all of a sudden... I felt a tap on my shoulder.

I saw a girl with blond hair. She was sexy and beautiful. I thought she was the most hottest girl I ever saw, so I ran up to her feeling hot.

My girlfriend asked me to hand her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.

2001 called... they hit the Pentagon.

How many Tottenham players does it take to win a trophy? It doesn't matter how hard they try, they still can't win one anyway.

We gave Erik ten Hag 7-Up after Liverpool thrashed Man Utd 7-0. He said, "F**k you all!"

Why can't Chinese people have white babies? Because two wrongs don't make a white.

What do the Twin Towers and my Mom have in common? They both went down on my dad.