Worst Jokes Ever
My ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's going to be hanging tonight.
My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.
What do you call James Bond when he’s taking a bath?
Bubble 07.
What's Christian and holey?
JFK.
My wife complained about me being childish. So I told her to get out of my fort.
New Gen iPhones are designed for orphans, because they don’t need a home button.
Mpreg is hot af.
I love jacking off to mpreg.
I have a secret crush on your momma.
If a man is willing to try his hardest to give you the moon and stars, then ladies, you should be willing to give up Uranus.
What do you call an emo committing suicide while filming it?
America's Funniest Home Videos.
I don't need to go to the car dealership when I have a Geico scanner on my arm at all times. 😏
The inventor of the umbrella was just going to call it "brella," but he hesitated.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because.
Name something an orphan can't do?
Go cry to their mommy.
What is the coolest bath bomb for emos?
A toaster.
I was at the bar late last night when a waitress screamed, "Anyone know CPR?" I said, "Shit, I know all the letters of the alphabet." Everyone laughed, well, except for this one guy.
Babies are like airstrikes; they get aborted.
What’s Helen Keller’s favorite game as a kid?
I spy.
My advice to suicidal people: just hang in there. 🕺
I got in trouble in school for leaving the depressed kid hanging.