Worst Jokes Ever
There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest.
On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesn't experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place."
So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his re-seeding hairline.
Why was Six afraid of Seven?
Because 7 was accused of the murder of 26 children.
When life gives you lemons... call them yellow oranges and sell 'em for double the price!
I was with my friend atom the other day. He’s pretty tall . . . Compared to you.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
Pete the panther was racing a cheetah but lost. The cheetah said, "You can’t beat me, I’m a cheetah." Pete said, "Yeah, you are a cheetah cheetah."
You smell!
My friend was playing a game and said he was fighting cultists, so I said Kanye's fanbase.
Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.
Guy: "Can I tell you a joke?"
Spiderman: "Yes."
Guy: "You only have 11 months on your calendar."
Spiderman: "Why?"
Guy: *holds up knife* "Because I murdered May."
What do emos and apples have in common? They both hang from trees.
Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 9.
But why is 10 scared? Because he is in the middle of 9/11.
I just found out, these jokes are about dead people.
I might slide up to your block with intelligence. I'm a genius with a glock. There's some relevance. Took his chain, took his rocks. Took his sediments. There's no cap inside my speech. No impediments.
Putting numbers on the board, I use my calculator. Put a opp below the floor, he's a denominator. E = mc2, you didn't notice that? Had the shot, but he's too scared. Why didn't he buss it back?
You should always wash your sex toys. That’s why priests invented baptism.
I will make a funny joke if you let me be your boyfriend. I'm 19 and I am Russian.
My suicidal friend said he liked trains, so we took him to the tracks.
Why can’t orphans be criminals?
Because they’re not wanted!
Who rates these jokes as "Newest" and "Hot"?
Answer: a S-T-O-O-G-E.
A man was about to go into the bar with his dog when he realized the sign said, “No pets allowed!” He was about to walk away when another guy walked up with his dog. The 2nd man put on dark shades and said, “Just pretend you're blind!” He walked in with his dog, got a drink, then left.
The 1st man did the same thing, but when he walked in, the bartender said, “You know your ‘guide dog’ is a chihuahua, right?”
The man said, “They gave me a damn Chihuahua?!”