Worst Jokes Ever
"911, what’s your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.
“I think my daddy want to kill me,” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.
789.
What is a dirty minded Harry Potter fan's favorite spell before the deed? Dickus Embigus!
How do you know when your wife is dead?
The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up.
Who crashed the plane?
1. Abu Faram? - terrorist
2. The little kid Joseph?
3. The passed out pilot?
Or Jamal?
Sorry but, no one asked.
What do you call a white bucket?
A pail.
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence." Anybody relate?
What goes cackle, cackle, *bonk*?
A witch laughing its head off.
You're a train; you ran fast on these rails, but you gain nothing, you only gain pain.
Everybody asks, "What's up?" but nobody asks, "What's down?"
Why do more men than women support abortion? So they can keep raping women and the victims will just abort their kids to not have to relive the experience!
What do orphans call a family picture?
A selfy.
Why can't orphans make dad jokes? Because they don't have one.
Why did the transgender man only eat salad?
Because he was a "her" before.
What is the difference between a leaf falling from a tree and an emo falling from a tree?
The leaf falls to the ground, the emo just hangs there.
I bought an orphan iPhone 8 Plus and he said he doesn't want it 'cause it didn't have a HOME button.
Me: The light wow brighter than my future.
Fortnite battle pass, I just shit out my ass. The school: You did what?
What is a pirate's favorite ride? A carrr!