Worst Jokes Ever

Your mom is a spy <3, just like in bed.

Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?

He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.

What do dropouts and Boeing 767s have in common?

They crash and burn.

I hate adopted kids. They are ugly and stupid, lmao.

Why did the orphan cross the road?

Because he was tired of waiting for the milk.

I walk into a bar. There was a line of people waiting to punch me. Yup. That was the punch line.

If you get a new bed, you have more bedroom, but less bedroom.

Why did the guitar teacher get arrested?

For fingering the minor.

What does a Rubik's cube and a penis have in common?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

What did the tree say to the kid with the rope?

Nothing, he was hanging.

Someone in my class described the KKK as ghosts with pointy hats... I mean, he's not wrong.

Why does the Tower of Pisa lean?

Because it has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.

Are you the twin towers?

Because I want to crash inside of you.

Why is Viagra just like Disneyland?

It's a 1 hour wait for a 5 minute ride.

I saw a girl crying. I asked her, "Where are your parents?" She cried as I got kicked out of the orphanage.

I went to find someone to fuck in the streets for money, and I found a prostitute, but then she raped me. After she said it was amazing and instead let me push.

Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff? Neither did I til I seen his Head and Shoulders on the dashboard.

I get so many things stuck in my head, though, unfortunately none of them were a bullet.

My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.

I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.