Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between depression and your ex?
Depression f**ks you harder.
One day, Billy's teacher asked him, "I heard your mom had a baby. What did she have?"
Billy paused and thought for a moment and said, "I think she had a bicycle."
"Now Billy, you know that your mom didn't have a bicycle. What did she have?"
"Maybe it was a tricycle."
"Billy, don't stand there and lie to me. We're going to the principal's office right now!"
The teacher grabbed Billy and escorted him to the principal's office and explained what happened. The principal looked sternly at Billy and said, "Stop lying, Billy. You know your mom didn't have a bicycle or a tricycle. What did your mother have?"
Billy looked up, fear in his eyes and said, "Well, maybe she had a go-cart."
That was more than enough. "I'm calling your mother right now!"
Soon, Billy's mother arrived at the principal's office. "It seems that Billy has decided to start telling lies. His teacher asked him what you recently had, and he said a bicycle, then a tricycle, then a go-cart!"
Billy's mother teared up, and through her sobs, replied to the principal and teacher, "No. Sadly, I had a miscarriage."
Billy sat up straight and said, "I KNEW that damn thing had wheels!"
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream cone?
Because he got hit by a bus.
Me: I will f**k ur mom.
Orphan: I don't have one.
Me: ......
*School shooting happens.*
Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk.*
American student: "First time?"
Foreign exchange student: "Yeah, you?"
American student: "Hahaha. No, not my first time."
My girlfriend is incredibly sad since her cat has disappeared.
I am quite sure now that I misunderstood something when she asked me to eat her pussy--and I am beginning to think that I did not get the "fuck her doggy" part either.
Why are Putin and Zelensky neighbors?
Apparently, a big dick needs a great set of balls next to it.
Whenever my artist girlfriend is sad, I let her draw things on my body.
I gave her a shoulder to crayon.
I cried when Dad cut onions. Onions was such a good dog.
Give a man a gun, and he will rob a bank.
Give a man a bank, and he will rob everyone.
Someone: When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to cheer up.
Me: My, what a great idea! Why didn't I think of that? ;)
How does a prostitute make more than a drug dealer?
Because she can clean her crack and sell it again.
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
nothing... they both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.
What does the "f" stand for in orphan?
Family.
What does a zebra and I have in common?
We both have stripes.
A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to do suicide, and the librarian said, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."
Why was the tower of Pisa leaning?
They had better reflexes than the trading center.
When you feel lonely, just watch a scary movie.
You won't feel lonely anymore :(
What's the difference between an orphan and cotton?
One gets picked.
Have you heard about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.