Worst Jokes Ever
(Note: this joke is not one of the worst jokes ever because it is obscene or offensive; it’s just a bad joke.) Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they’re dead.
I found a chest of gold in my garden the other day. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it.
Then I remembered why I was digging in my garden.
What’s the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is plastic and dangerous for children to play with, the other is used for carrying groceries.
Why is my sister horny? It's because she loves my dick.
Me: *posts random joke about a duck*
That one guy in the comment section for no reason: "Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you..."
That other guy in the comment section: "That’s actually offensive to ducks."
Bro it’s a joke...
What does a Chinese man say to his partner when having sex?
"Ching Chong Soc Mai Ding Dong"
You're not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
I ate a sock yesterday. It was very time-consuming.
What does an Arab prostitute say?
"Bomb my pussy!"
You’re so ugly, I can see why your dad left now.
I play saxophone, and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason, I got multiple restraining orders because I said, “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson.” I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida, where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly, they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.
Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(
What is the real reason why men jack off? They just enjoy killing kids.
What do you call a black person eating chicken, watermelon, and drinking Kool-Aid?
Reality.
9/11 wasn’t a terrorist attack, it was the world’s introduction to Sky Football
Your mom is so fat that she works as a hydraulic press in a car factory!
Asked my dad what LGBT stands for.
He started with "Lettuce? Bacon. Tomato. What's the 'g' for?" Obviously, I had to reply with "Garnish."
What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?
Both are lying when they say, "I'm a real boy."
When I’m bored, I text a random number, “I hid the body... now what?”
Roses are red, violets are blue, when The Oh Hellos saw you they said "Shoo!"
What did Jeffrey Dahmer do after dumping his first boyfriend?