My uncle hid my weed, so I hid his wheelchair.
Worst Jokes Ever
Why am I so successful?
When I was told to go big or go home, I only had one option.
What does a "Smart Russian" and a "Unicorn" have in common?
Answer: Non-existence!
Did you hear that Ted Nugent had a beer thrown at him at one of his shows?
Answer: He was okay. It was a draft, so he dodged it easily!
Why do orphans like to go to church?
So they have someone to call father.
If you're bored, punch an orphan in the face. What is he gonna do, tell his parents?
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
I heard there was a kidnapping.
Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.
It was his father's friend who was a priest.
He was just bringing him to church.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day; set a man on fire, and he'll be warm the rest of his life.
What is the difference between preschools and my basement?
Little kids come out of preschool.
Why is there air conditioning in hospitals? To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.
"Poor old fool," thought the gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. He invited the old man inside for a drink.
The gentleman asked, "So how many have you caught today?"
The old man replied, "You're the eighth."
What do you call a flat emo?
A chopping block🖤
What do you call an emo furry squad?
The suicide furs.
I played Clash of Clans, and when I requested troops, all I got were some Muslim wall breakers.
Sometimes I look back at everything bad I have done. I tell myself it's ok, they're just telling me to keep myself safe :)
That's it, it wasn't a joke.
1 like = 1 small dick whiny conservative in my blender.
Your momma's so fat that she's used goods, like the Russian tanks.
Why do orphans love getting r@ped?
Because they want to know what love feels like.
What do you call a tall terrorist? Labomb James.
You're so fat that you broke Thanos's snap!