Worst Jokes Ever

What is Donald Trump’s favorite nation? – Discrimination.

Chuck Norris catches Pokémon with his bare hands.

When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he's pushing the Earth down.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes into a bank, they turn off the cameras.

If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.

The rest of them will write Perl programs.

Yo mama is so nasty, she buys sex toys at the second-hand shop.

Yo mama stops at the PokeStop... to buy a Big Mac.

Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the beach, the people shout, "Free Willy!"

A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"

The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."

Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.

You should never suppress a fart. It travels up the spine high into the brain. That's where the shit ideas come from.

Better to drink until you wave it off than to wave it down.

What would you call a cat royal’s descendants?

A feline.

What does a Foreigner say when he comes to America?

"You're as cold as I.C.E. You're willing to sacrifice brown lives..."

I told my lesbian friends, "I wanna watch," so they bought me a Timex®.

It takes a licking and keeps on ticking.

What's the worst thing to say at a live birth?

"Hi guys, welcome to my unboxing video!"

Every one is talking about glory holes, so I decided to look into one.

I was doing renovations on a house and found a wall with a glory hole. I was going to remodel it, but it's load bearing. I asked a gay carpenter how to fix this, and he advised that I check out the studs first to make sure they were uncut.

Eventually, I gave up and just put my nuts through the hole. Now they're walnuts.

What did the squirrel say when he chewed some saggy boobs?

Is it just me or do these taste like nuts?

Why is chemotherapy like a five-star meal?

Because you have to have money to pay for it.

What do blonde chicks and Asians have in common?

They both drive with their blinker on.