Worst Jokes Ever
I told my lesbian friends, "I wanna watch," so they bought me a Timex®.
It takes a licking and keeps on ticking.
What's the worst thing to say at a live birth?
"Hi guys, welcome to my unboxing video!"
My mom told me that her doctor told her personally that she had to keep herself isolated because she has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great ass.
What makes 2024 a terrifying year?
Pianos playing ragtime music keep falling out of the sky!
Who was in a creepy cult?
Best. Buy. Nights!
Honorable mention, who lived and died this way as a checkout girl?
Luke Combs!
What's round, ticklish, and drove a fast car?
Hee hee, yee yee, hee-haw, hee!
Every one is talking about glory holes, so I decided to look into one.
I was doing renovations on a house and found a wall with a glory hole. I was going to remodel it, but it's load bearing. I asked a gay carpenter how to fix this, and he advised that I check out the studs first to make sure they were uncut.
Eventually, I gave up and just put my nuts through the hole. Now they're walnuts.
What did the squirrel say when he chewed some saggy boobs?
Is it just me or do these taste like nuts?
Why is chemotherapy like a five-star meal?
Because you have to have money to pay for it.
What do blonde chicks and Asians have in common?
They both drive with their blinker on.
What do guns and women have in common?
They both get cocked and loaded.
Why are dildos like a ratcheting wrench? They both make lots of noise and get their job done.
What's something you shouldn't tell a paraplegic that's being confronted by a bully?
Just walk away.
By recruiting sponsors, they help them find work in their first year.
If I ever have a YouTube channel, I'm pretty sure it would be called "101 Things NOT To Do With Electrical Sockets."
What's the first rule of Wank Club?
Don't shake hands with anyone else in Wank Club.
What can you say in bed and in piano class? Im fingering A Minor
What is the epitome of being quick on the draw?
Coming both first and last in the same round of "soggy biscuit".
What is Epstein's favorite piano chord?
A minor.