Worst Jokes Ever
I thought I saw a cool sticker on my office window, then I realized it was getting bigger and bigger.
If I were a history teacher, I’d make the two twins stand up and throw a paper airplane at them.
How to get rid of your depression:
1. Stop self-pitying.
2. Realize you can't.
3. Fucking deal with it.
You're welcome.
I told my fam a joke.
They all looked at me weird and one person even said, "I’m sorry!"
How do you know your wife is dead?
The sex is the same, but the dishes keep piling up.
How to make an orphan die?
Tell them to yell until their folks come home.
Yo mama's so big, her belt size is "equator."
Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to eat Eminem.
Are you the Twin Towers? I can't stand you.
What do you call a Black-Asian dictator?
Kim Kong Coon.
Yo mama's so fat, when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND the house.
Why do women always have sex with the lights off?
Because they never like to see a man having a good time.
What do a mag and a clip have in common? They are both good at school.
Q: What’s the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl?
A: You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.
I asked my now ex-boyfriend why he’s scared of my cat. He said it was because of the scratches on my arm.
I told him that my cat doesn’t scratch, but he didn’t believe me. He realised what I meant when he noticed I kept hiding my wrist from everyone else.
(Kinda based on the fact that my ex is indeed scared of cats, and he has been scared of my cat, so yeah 😂)
I asked my friend what the best gay joke is, and she said "You."
"When is the best time to commit suicide?"
Ate a Glock in the morning.
Politics.
A wife says to her husband, "You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back." "What do you expect?" he says, "You're in a fucking wheelchair!"
Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?
Mum: See the four birds over there?
Kid: Huh, wait a minute.
Mum: A drunk person would see eight.
Kid: Mum, but there is only two.