Worst Jokes Ever
If a blind person can’t see, then do they sleep?
They’re the night watchers while people who see sleep.
"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"
Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his mom was in a jam!
Why did the cookie cry?
Because its mom was a wafer too long!
"What did the mom broom say to the baby broom? Go to sweep!"
I don't want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband.
Kids make a lot of plans for people who can't drive anywhere.
"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."
Nothing is lost until Mom can't find it.
"Our teen has decreed we are the 'Worst Parents Ever.' We will hold our coronation ceremony to accept this honor next Friday. Invitations to follow."
There's nothing quite like being told I'm wrong by someone who depends on me for food, clothing, and shelter.
It's sad when you sit around waiting for mom to make dinner, and then you realize you are the mom.
I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was next to a crying baby.
Evidently that doesn't work if the baby is yours.
Did you hear about the man who jumped off a bridge in France? He was in Seine.
"WASSUP GIRLS IF I FIND YOU I'LL GLADLY FUCK YOU;]"
What do you call an 18-year-old orphan?
Homeless.
Wife: I will leave you if you call me fat again.
Husband: Wait, dear... Don’t do it for the sake of our kid!
Wife: Kid?
Husband: Yeah, aren’t you pregnant?
You know the stupid trend where people say it’s ok to be overly obese? Healthy even? That you should take pride in it? Which idiots started that movement?
Well. We know one thing for sure. They were obviously members of a wider community.
What kind of jokes doesn’t work out?
Fat people jokes.
Are you made of Gallium and Yttrium?
Because you are looking a little bit GaY.