7 jokes

A man wakes up from his operation, and the doctor says, "I have bad news and good news, what do you want to hear first?"

The man says, "Bad," so the doctor says, "During the surgery, your girlfriend decided to leave a message that she’s leaving you for another man."

The man says, "What’s the good then?" And the doctor says, "I’m picking her up at 7."

Better call NASA and tell them there are only going to be 7 planets after I destroy URANUS.

You know how 7 ate 9? Why was 10 scared? It's because he was in the middle of 9/11. 🤣

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 is a registered 6 offender.

I am right 95 percent of the time, who cares about that other 5 percent?

Why was 6 scared of 7?

Because 7 8 9.

3/7 of a chicken, 2/3 cat, 1/2 goat. What do you get when you cross those?

Answer: Chi-ca-go

So 6 is scared of 7 because 7, 8, 9, but why did 10 have PTSD?

He was stuck in the middle of 9/11.

Why was 8 afraid of 7?

Because 7 was a 6 offender.

I like my wine how I like my women: 7 years old, and locked up in my basement.

4, 6, 8, and 9 have all been killed. 2, 3, 5, 7, and 11 are the prime suspects.

Why was 6 afraid to go camping with 7?

Because 7 wanted to bring two knives for survival, but 6 secretly knew that 7 hated him, and didn’t have benign intentions.

Read this out loud to yourself and it’ll make sense. ;)

Emo kids counting be like: 1, 2, 3 come hang with me! 4, 5, 6 Gonna get new slits! 7, 8, 9 Suicide! 10, 11, 12 Bring some pills!

Once, there was a couple about to have sex. "I have something to confess," said the shy wife. The husband then said, "Whatever it is, I will still love." The wife then said, "Honey, I'm flat chested." The husband said, "It's okay, I'm a baby down there anyways." He then pulled down his pants and began to have sex.

The next day, the wife said, "I thought you were a baby down there." The husband then said, "I am; 22 inches and 7 pounds."

I like my cigars like I like my women: 7 years old and in a burlap sack from Cuba.

Ok, not really racist but still funny.

What do you call a man who plays Fortnite 24/7?

A: A virgin.

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 7 seconds. In case you didn't see that one coming, don't feel bad, they didn't either.

Do you know why 6 is afraid of 7? Why? Because 7 ate 9 (8).

Do you know why 10 is scared? Why? Because he is between 9 and 11.

Ariana Grande had 7 husbands, so she had 7 rings.

What 7 letters do you say when you open the fridge and see it’s empty?

O I C U R M T