7 jokes

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Ring

  • How many times does Ariana Grande knock at the door?

    She doesn’t, she just uses 7 rings.

    Pedophile

  • A pedophile is playing poker with 8 seven-year-olds.

    The pedophile has a pair of 7's and three 4's in the river. He smiles and says, "Yay, I got me a full house!"

  • 0
  • Chicken

  • When you hear your mom’s car pull in the driveway and you remember that she told you to take the chicken out of the freezer 7 hours ago.

  • 9
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    Terminal illness

  • Doctor: "I'm sorry, but you suffer from a terminal illness and only have 10 to live."

    Patient: "What do you mean 10? 10 what? months? weeks?"

    Doctor: "9, 8, 7..."

  • 1
  • Incest

  • My mother was suffering from menstrual pain. So I fucked her for 7 hours to ease her pain. I continued to do so for the next 6 days. Even after fucking her 51 times during her 7-day period, I fucked her 5-6 times a day for the next three months and stopped her period for 9 months! Only her son can understand and ease the pain of a mother.

  • 3
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    9/11

  • Six was scared of seven because 7 8 9, so why was 10 scared? Because he was caught between 9/11.

  • 4
  • Bad Luck

  • Break a wine glass: I give you bad luck for a year.

    Break a mirror: Funny wine glass, I give you bad luck for 7 years.

    Breaking a condom: Haha so funny mirror.

  • 0
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    Trick

  • 1. You can't wash your eyes with soap.

    2. You can't count your hair.

    3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out.

    4. You just tried number three.

    5. When you tried number 3, you realized it was possible, only you look like a dog.

    6. You're smiling right now because you realized you were fooled.

    7. You skipped number 5.

    8. You just checked if there was a number 5.

    9. This is not my joke; all credit goes to Steps.

  • 4
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    Sleep

  • My friends:

    Maya: I only get 9 hours of sleep.

    Josh: 9 hours? I get 7 hours of sleep.

    Noah: You get 7? I get 4 hours of sleep.

    Me: You guys are getting sleep...

  • 7
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    Triplet

  • I was walking down the street when I saw my ex-girlfriend, so I fucked her. Turns out it was her identical twins that she never told me about.

    And I decided to confront her. So I did the next time I saw her, but this time it was her identical triplet. There are 3 of them...

    AND SHE NEVER BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE 7 YEARS I WAS DATING HER!

    Rapist

  • What's the difference between me and a rapist?

    He forced her, while I convinced her with a candy.

    She was just 7 years old.

  • 1
  • Tea

  • In memory of Michael Jackson, Starbucks and various other establishments are introducing the Jackson tea. It's 50 year old water, with a 7 year old tea bag.