New 12 Jokes - Page 7 - Worst Jokes Ever

God: Ok, so I created adults. And I created how they are supposed to look from being born to preteen.

Satan: (slides in) I’ll take over for you, pops.

God: I dunno... this is very delicate work. Just one wrong thing can ruin the system.

Satan: Don’t worry your beard off! (Pats his back) I’ll just do the ages from 12 to 18!

God: Hmm... I’m still not- (Gets a call on his phone) Shoot, I got to take this. (Answers call) Don’t touch anything, Lucifer! (Walks away)

Satan:.......(just touches lightly, and alarms start blaring. He squeaks and runs away)

God: (rushes in) WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!?!

God: (tries fixing problems. Only gets alarms off) Fuck me........

God:....(sighs) Fine, it’ll stay. We’ll just call it....puberty.

What’s the coolest thing about having a 12 year old friend...

You get to meet Chris Hansen!

There was a guy I knew who owned a foot high piano player? He had found a magic lamp and rubbed it. The genie popped out and gave him one wish. The guy thinks the genie was a bit deaf as all he got was a 12 pianist.

Cindy goes up to her dad and says: "Daddy, can I have $100 for a new dress?"

Her dad almost gags and says: "$100! You're only 12, what do you want with such an expensive dress?"

Cindy says: "Well daddy, I'll look really pretty in it and I promise to look after it ..."

Dad gives in and says: "OK, give me a head-job then".

He flops it out and Cindy just get the end in her mouth and goes: "Eeee-yooo - that taste's like shit!"

Dad goes: "Well, your brother wanted to borrow the car this afternoon ..."

What's about 12 inches long has a purple head and can make woman scream all night?

Cot death

What do a pedophile and a clock have in common? Neither of them go past 12.

What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's cunt?

Putting in 12 and sucking out 13.

whats thick 12 inches and in your mums throat my penis

What's the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.

What’s 12 inches and is moist inside?

My record holding cucumbers, locally grown at my farm.

whats the difference between a zit and a catholic priest? a zit will wait til 12 before it cums on your face.

The cop that is on a 12 o'clock shift says, "Hands up!"

The inmates are yelling 12...12...12... in the courtyard. A man walking by is interested why the keep chanting 12...12...12... so he sticks his head through the fence and the inmate poked the man in the eye. Moments later they start chanting 13...13...13...