11 jokes

Why can't a blonde call 911?

She can't find the 11.

Me: Calls 9-1-1.

Operator: 9/11, what’s your emergency?

Me: *hangs up*

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 7 seconds. In case you didn't see that one coming, don't feel bad, they didn't either.

"I hate when people make 9/11 jokes because my grandfather died during the Twin Tower attacks. He was the best pilot in Saudi Arabia."

I was 11 or 12 at the time.

Guy (passing me): "How are you doing?" Me, an autist: "Pretty bad honestly." Guy (continued walking past me) Me: ...

If you didn’t know, “what’s up” and “how are you doing” are phatic expressions in the United States, meaning that they’re said as greetings even though they literally mean something else.

Two teenagers were raping an 11-year-old girl in an alley, so I stepped in to help. The little bitch didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.

I'd make 9/11 jokes, but they'd just crash and burn.

Stop making 9/11 jokes. They don't land so well.

What’s a 9/11 victim’s least favorite song?

Drowning Pool - Bodies.

I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.

"I didn't get the joke at first, but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.

I have a pen, I have an Apple, um, Apple pen.

The Taliban had a plane, the US had a building boom, 9/11.

Guys, we should not make fun of 9/11. Like, that stuff is just plain out crazy. Like, you all should not let that fly.

Guys, we shouldn't make jokes about 9/11. My dad was a victim.

He was the best pilot in Arab.

What do maths and 9/11 have in common?

They both prove two parallel lines can be intercepted by a plane.

9/11 is the biggest game of Jenga... ;)

Hey, did you know that 9/11 won a Grammy?

Yes, best comedy award.

Hey, are you a terrorist? 'Cause I rate you 9/11.

Proof that 9/11 isn't a government plot.

It worked.

Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail?

A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.

I played the Angry Birds theme while watching a 9/11 documentary.