11 jokes

Why is 10 afraid?

Because he next to 9 and 11.

Autoerotic asphyxiation because hanging in there can be hard.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because seven ate nine.

But 10 was afraid, why? Because it was in between 9 and 11.

What is the difference between 9/11 and a cow?

You stop milking a cow after 15 years.

1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.

3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”

4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.

5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.

6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.

7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.

8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.

9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.

11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).

12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.

13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.

14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.

15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.

16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.

17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.

I feel bad for the guy in 9/11 who ordered a salami pizza. Instead, he just got a plane.

I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably go up in flames.

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 victims of course, they went through 89 stories in only 5 minutes!

What type of pizza did the 9/11 victims order? Two planes.

I'll rate this a 9/11.

The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them:

"Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"

This is nothing to do with 9/11, but this is my best joke.

What do you call a Paki in a microwave?

Pting pting pting.

USA: "Never forget 9/11."

Brits: "What happened on the 9th of November?"

What was the last thing to go through the minds of 9/11 jumpers?

Their ankles.

What is the difference between a cow and 9/11?

You can’t milk a cow for 15 years.

I give these jokes a 9/11.

Dude, 9/11 jokes always bomb.

If I throw a paper airplane at two twins, did I cause 9/11?

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Twins.

Twins who?

Twins go boom boom today on 9/11.

Bro, the Twin Towers are like my grandpa and his friends. One survived—my grandpa. The others have fallen—his friends.