11 jokes

What's 9 divided by 11?

Well, I know it's less than two alright!

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 victims of course, they went through 89 stories in only 5 minutes!

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.

Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”

What do 9/11 and COVID-19 have in common?

I couldn't give a fuck about either.

If someone told me to bring up 9/11, they were trying to make a funny joke, but it didn't work.

That one really *crashed and burned*.

Ever heard the saying white people can’t jump??

Well, I think that’s total bullshit. You should have seen us on 9/11!

Never joke about 9/11, they'll just crash and burn.

9/11 pilots are the best readers.

They went through 30 stories in less than an hour.

A retired George W. Bush is eating a donut at 7/11 and looks at it. "I'm so happy I did that." A guy overhears the conversation and says, "You're happy you bought that donut? Oh haha, I would be too. I love donuts!" George W. Bush then says, "Oh hahaha, you caught me," and then says, "Oh hahaha, you must have heard me wrong. I said, I'm so happy I did 9/11."

Dang... if I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put D IN U ;)

I only know there are 25 letters in the alphabet, I don't know Y.

(Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?) -- (Friend: 11- T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T)

(Me: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?) -- (Crush: No, there is actually 26.) -- (Me: oooOoh, I forgot u r a qt! So its acdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz?) -- (Crush: You forgot the D) -- (Me: That's not needed yet ;])

What letter is really hot? T

C = cOCK O = CoCK C = COcK K = COCk COCK = cock cock = COCK

ME SExUAL SRrY LoL

Weed: *gets hit by his own power*

Cop: Wait, shouldn’t you be resistant to your own element?

Weed: Are you resistant to bullets when you shoot a gun?

I should probably stop making jokes about 9/11.

My dad died to it, he was a great pilot.

A mathematics professor arrived home at 3 am drunk.

His wife was up waiting for him.

"You said you'd be home by 11:45!" she yelled.

He responded, "No my dear, I said I'd be home at a quarter of 12."

My uncle died in 9/11. He was a pilot.

Why was 10 scared? Because 9/11.

I tried to search stuff about 9/11 for a research project, but it didn’t work... I guess the site crashed.

I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably go up in flames.

I poo 11 times a day.

I don't usually make 9/11 jokes. They always go down in flames.

Why are people so worked up about 9/11? They were just playing Jenga.