100 jokes
My sister bet me $100 that it was impossible for me to build a working car out of spaghetti.
You should have seen her face as I drove pasta!
What is the difference between Betty White and Paul Walker?
Betty didn’t reach 100 before she died.
Why did the number 10 make friends with 0? Because you have $100 dollars.
Yo mama so fat, she got arrested for carrying 100 pounds of crack.
How do you fit 100 rape victims inside a Mini Cooper?
In the ashtray.
If your sisert makes you 100% mad, slap your siert.
100% of blind people in Africa can't see. Together, we can stop this.
Yoo! I found a $100 bill, found a child who said they lost their $100 bill. Gave them $25.
When God gives you glory, you give it back.
So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...
How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.
There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.
In History class, the teacher taught a lesson about serial killer Albert Fish. Back in the early 20th century, Fish reportedly kidnapped, ate, and raped over 100 kids. He mainly chose victims who were either retarded or black. Further on the lesson, the teacher explained how in those days, black people were socially not equal with white people, and how people with mental illness were not accepted and treated properly due to a lack of knowledge of mental health.
One of the students raised their hand and said, “You ought to be arrested.” The teacher confusedly asked, “Why?” The student explained, “Because you’re thinking like Albert Fish.”
A man finds out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend, so he hires a hitman to shoot his wife in the head, and his friend in the balls. The hitman charges $100 per bullet. The man agrees.
Later, they set up, and the hitman looks through the scope and says, “I can save you $100!”
Today we need to teach our teens about having safe sex while using contraceptives.
Condoms 99 percent effective.
Birth control 99 percent effective.
Etc.
Just be like me and use underage 7 year olds works 100 percent of the time (only cost 20 years in jail ;)
My mom told me to make my dad smile, and she will give me $100, so I said, "The Cowboys are gonna win the Super Bowl." He smiled, but my mom didn't give it to me.
Anyways, I forgot about my package coming, and the mailman came, and I said, "I like your hat; teal looks nice on you," and he smiled, and my mom gave me $100.
How do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? A blender.
How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.
LGBTQ. If there’s any joke, it’s 100% the woke 🤡.
I took a pole today. 100% of the people in the tent were unhappy that it collapsed.
How do you get 100 Pikachus on a bus?
- Pokémon
I stopped a terrorist from killing 100 people on a plane using self-control.
An attractive man and a blonde meet in an elevator.
"Where are you heading today?" the man asks.
"I'm going down to give blood."
"How much do you get paid for giving blood?"
"About $30."
"Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100."
The woman, slightly annoyed, gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again.
"Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?"
"Sperm bank," she mumbles with her mouth full.
Who do you think is the fastest reader? Incorrect. It's 9/11. It went through 100 stories in 2 seconds.