1 1 jokes

[god creating alligators]

God: See that log?

Angel: Yes...?

God: Now fill it with teeth.

Angel: Say again?

God: FILL IT WITH TEETH!

Me: Calls 9-1-1.

Operator: 9/11, what’s your emergency?

Me: *hangs up*

Why can't people in wheelchairs be gay? Cuz you can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.

What did the shoe say to the other shoe?

Nothing, it was tied up in another conversation.

A son walks up to his dad and says, "I'm so gay right now!"

"HOW COULD YOU? I THOUGHT YOU WERE STRAIGHT!!!" screams the dad.

"No, gay as in HAPPY," says the confused son, "I'm so happy right now!"

"Oh," says the dad, "why are you happy?"

Then the son said, "Because I just got 20 dollars for sucking a guy off."

1+1 answer 2 said all the kids, but 1 kid said 5. Then I said your mom feels embarrassed because everyday you look into the mirror, you see how empty your brain is.

What's long, white, and thick? My dick.

What is Bill Gates’ favorite equation?

1 + 1 =

😥This is offensive, sorry: What did the king say to his royal steed? "You gonna start the dishwasher or what?"

Ever notice 9-1-1 (the number for the po-po) is the Great Date (9-11)... Hmmm.

"GWEN, can you help me? There's some person messing with me. There name is JADSA, something like that. Look for a joke named Jayden."

1+1? Too hard.

What did the duck say to the drug dealer?

Gimme some of that quack!

Mooning is very astrological!

Does Lightning McQueen get life insurance or car insurance?