Worst Jokes Ever
"Room, you on."
Why was the orphan so successful?
When the options were either go big or go home, he only had one option :(
How to catch Bigfoot: 1. Dig a large pit. 2. Build a fire in the pit and let it burn all the way to ashes. 3. Place small green peas all around the rim of the pit. 4. Hide in the bushes and wait. When Bigfoot goes to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole.
Why shouldn't you make fun of burn victims?
Because they've already been roasted!
Why do cemeteries have fences?
Because people are dying to be there.
Yo mama is such a slut, she could get slapped by a pack of hot dogs and get pregnant.
When you find out your wife had a miscarriage,
So you start singing "It’s the best day ever!"
I wrote a book called "Endless Love."
It’s about a tennis match between Stevie Wonder and Hellen Keller.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They gave her a cheese grater and told her it was a book.
I wanted to tell a joke about Jonestown.
But the punch line is too long.
What would Bill Cosby be if he was white?
Innocent.
How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"
How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"
Q: Do you know why God created yeast infections?
A: So women will know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt, too.
Haha, boob!
You look like your mom and your dad had a child.
Once a man goes to a restaurant. Then, he was waiting until the waitress comes and tells him that they don't have food.
He was grumpy, but the waitress make him relaxing by unbuttoning her pants and undressing her panties and uncovering clothes from her pussy until everything get striped, then she say to him: "Good meal."
Why can't there be a gay disabled person?
Because a fruit can't be the same as a vegetable.
Riddler: Riddle me this, are you scared of the big black?
Person: Big black what?
Riddler: ...
Person: I'm scared of what you mean because you won't tell me what you mean.
Welcome to Dave’s orphanage. You make it, we take it.
What is the difference between a hipster and a hockey player?
A hockey player showers.