Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a well endowed gay male who is also in a wheelchair?
Meals on wheels.
When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
Adam and Eve are wondering whether they are black or white. Eve says, "Why don't you go and ask God?"
So Adam goes into the Garden of Eden and shouts out to God, "Are we black or white?" A big booming voice bellows out, "You are what you are."
He immediately goes back to Eve and tells her that they are white. "How do you know?" asks Eve. "Because he said, 'You are what you are,'" Adam replied. "Why does that mean we are white?" asked Eve. "Because if we were black, He would have said, 'You is what you is.'"
Why should you keep English gay activists away from neo-nazis?
British cigarettes get smoked easily.
Answering a knock at my door, I see a vacuum cleaner salesman who proceeds to tip a huge bucket of shit all over my carpet, before proclaiming any trace this hoover doesn't remove I will personally eat myself.
"Well, I hope you're hungry," I replied, "'cause they cut off my electric this morning!"
A Biologist, a Chemist, and a Statistician are out hunting.
The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left.
The chemist shoots at the same deer and misses five feet to the right.
The statistician shouts, "We got him!"
What does a squirrel eat? Deez Nutz in their mouth.
Have you heard of the show Naked and Afraid?
That's what I call hide and seek with my uncle.
Why are black men's eyes always red after sex?
From the mace.
What do you call a 5th grader with no friends?
Sandy Hook survivor.
What's the difference between a black Jew and a white Jew?
The black Jew sits in the back of the oven.
My mom picked my major.
A woman walks out of the bathroom, winks at her husband and says, “I shaved down there; you know what that means.”
The husband responds, “Yeah, the drain is clogged.”
How is tightrope walking like getting a blowjob from someone ugly?
If you want to enjoy either, you absolutely can’t look down.
How does a woman scare their gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist.
No, I don't want to fight, so I shall kill you (so we won't fight)!
Help! I got my brother pregnant.
Gay gang members don't do drive-bys, they do fruit roll-ups.
Miscarriage jokes aren't funny, just cut it out.
Where does bad light end up at?
In prism.