Worst Jokes Ever
I diddled for a total of 67 times. I am the ultra Gooner. My cum is everywhere. I am the goon master.
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" The dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your mother, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the working class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense."
The little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has soiled his diaper. The little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."
The little boy replies, "Well, while capitalism is screwing the working class, the government is sound asleep, the people are being ignored and the future is in deep shit."
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"Father replied, "I don't know, son. I'm still paying."
Yo momma so dumb, she got kicked off the short bus.
Q. What's Terri Schiavo's favorite movie?
A. The Purge.
Q. Why aren't jokes about bulimia funny?
A. They're just in bad taste.
Anal intercourse is for assholes.
Y'know that foundation called "Autism Speaks"? No, it screeches.
When your crush walks in class, but you're homeschooled...
Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
So you can tell them apart from the feminists.
Why do men fart louder than women?
Because women can’t keep their mouth shut to build up any pressure.
The media's relationship with Hillary is just like Bill's relationship with Hillary. The relationship is unwanted and forced, and they'll move on to the next person any chance they get.
I saw a cute coworker and had sex in the back until I realized it is a family business.
I have a joke about suicide, but I’ll just let it hang.
What's the difference between a hipster and a hockey player? A hockey player changes his pads every third period.
If you think I would joke about Alzheimer's, forget it.
Why do lesbians get their belly button pierced?
So they have a place to hang the air freshener.
How does Osama feed his child? "Here comes the airplane, here comes another one."
A guy jumped out of the Twin Towers, saying, "I ordered pepperoni pizza, not a plane!"
Why don't amputees ever get cold? They're always wearing their stump warmers.