Worst Jokes Ever
Two men are walking down the street and see a dog licking its balls. One man says, "I wish I could do that." The other one says, "You can probably just pet him."
What’s something you can say about vacation, but not about your girlfriend?
Next time I’m bringing all my friends.
What do you call someone with no arms and no legs?
A nugget.
Donald Trump travels back in time to talk to his 10-year-old self.
When he sees himself, he says, "Do you see me? I am you, but almost 70 years older."
His 10-year-old self asks him, "Am I going to be famous?"
Trump replies, "Oh yeah, I became president of the United States. Not once. Twice!"
10-year-old Donald was shocked. But he became even more shocked when he heard the next sentence from his current self: "And now take off your pants!"
Did you know a full moon is perfect for a werewolf to come out?
I’m gay.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
The dwarf who couldn’t reach the doorbell.
Black comedy name week:
Malt liquor Monday Tupac Tuesday Watermelon Wednesday Thong Thursday Fried chicken Friday Sukie Sukie Saturday Slap a hoe Sunday
White comedy week:
Monster Truck Monday
Trailer Park Tuesday
White Trash Wednesday
Take Your Sister Out Thursday
Fox News Friday
Storm the Capitol Saturday
Say You’re Sorry Sunday
How are rape and an airplane similar?
The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
Mexican Comedy Week
Margarita Monday Taco Tuesday Wetback Wednesday Tequila Thursday Fiesta Friday Shake It Saturday Sneaky Sunday
Plz like.
What do you call a person with Down syndrome in the military?
Special Forces.
What song did Whitney Houston listen to while doing cocaine?
"Run It!" by Chris Brown.
Emo grass cuts itself, while transgender laundry hangs itself.
What is the difference between Drake and Carrie Underwood?
Carrie Underwood kissed a 12-year-old boy on the lips.
What is a little zombie's favorite stuffed animal?
It's a deady bear.
I used to think that I had a Japanese friend, but it was just my imagi-asian.
What did Osama give the Windows on the World restaurant in the WTC as a rating when he ate it? A 9/11!
What’s the difference between Jesus and a prostitute?
The look they give you while you’re nailing them.
What did the computer say when it was tired of the user?
Kiss my ASCII!