Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Michael Jackson

What do you call the heterosexual Michael Joseph Jackson?

Jeffrey Epstein.

Africa

I found out how to gain millions of followers.

Run through Africa with a bottle of water.

Seatbelt

What gets long when you put it, slides into holes, and likes to squeeze between boobs?

A seatbelt.

Similarity

How are boobs and toys similar?

Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.

Difference

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Jews?

Santa Claus gets to leave the chimney alive.

I have no problem with prostitution.

It's like an Air BnB for your dick.

So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'

Did you hear about the guy who died by lethal injection and writhed on the stretcher for 20 minutes?

I guess it really IS all in the execution.

The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die: to be shot, to be hung, or to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.

So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head." Boom, he was dead instantly.

Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." Snap, he was dead.

Then the Irishman said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff." They gave him the shot, and the Irishman fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy.

Then the Irishman said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did. Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over.

Finally, the warden said, "What is wrong with you?"

The Irishman replied, "You guys are so stupid... I'm wearing a condom!"