What is the difference between a brown bear and a polar bear?
About a few thousand miles.
Q. What's funnier than an AISH worker getting raped?
A. An AISH worker getting gang raped.
Rape is always unequivocally wrong.
Unless it's an AISH worker. Then you give her anal.
I think we should change Alzheimer’s disease to Joe Biden disease.
Yo, you have the biggest Oliver brain, which means you are the dumbest boy ever.
I told the last person I slept with I was pregnant. He freaked the fuck out but calmed down after he realized it was April Fools'.
The look on my cousin's face was hilarious.
Speak in AAVE, Mr. Bear...
They say there is power in numbers.
Tell that to the people in the Twin Towers.
Wanna make out, Explain Bear?
Q: What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and a tomato?
A: A tomato isn't a vegetable.
Q. What's the difference between fucking a coma patient and fucking a cabbage?
A. You have to cut a hole in the cabbage.
What did the SS say when A.H. was running out of ideas?
"You Wannsee my 'final solution'?"
I know Marie Antoinette jokes aren't funny, but they're nothing to lose your head over.
I asked my friend if he would take a bullet for the last person he slept with.
He said hell yeah, I'd do anything for my sister!
Jokes about Marie Antoinette aren't funny, but that's no reason to lose your head.
Why were glow-in-the-dark condoms made?
To play Star Wars.
When you hear Michael Jackson talk about his "perfect 10," make sure you hide your 10-year-old son.
The time when Michael Jackson came in his pajamas during the trial. Whether or not it was because he saw a 7-year-old boy has yet to be determined.
What do ICE and Mexican drug cartels both have in common?
They both kidnap Canadian women!