Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

There was a boy who owned a dog, who was walking while wearing headphones.

Upon entering a park, he saw a sign that read, "DOGS MUST HAVE LEAD". He continued into the park, and became immersed in the music.

After leaving the park 20 minutes later and turning around for the first time in a while to remove the lead, the sight of his now-dead, freshly-poisoned dog reminded him of the importance of heteronyms.

This is how big cats were named.

"I HATE BIG CATS. THAT ONE IS A LIAR, THAT ONE IS A CHEATER. THE ONE IS A POO-MA."

"Lion. Cheetah. Puma. You're getting a promotion."

The tortoise can't go out to play, Or sell his house or rent it. For when he moves, his house moves too, And nothing can prevent it.

My girlfriend told me women are better at multitasking than men. So I told her to sit down and shut up. Guess what...

She couldn't do either!

If you look for something for 10 days and a woman walks in, opens a cabinet, and finds it:

So, just hire a female pope for the Holy Grail that has been missing for 500 years so she just opens a cabinet and she finds it.

I take back my comments on the United healthcare CEO.

Being poisoned by a nurse wouldn't be that bad of a way to die as long as the nurse diluted the potassium chloride first.

What is a nudist's least favorite holiday?

Memorial Day.

Why?

Because wearing a poppy can be very painful.