Worst Jokes Ever
What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
What’s the worst thing about having a wife with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
What do you call an @EB with no ears?
An Explain B.
What do Spider-Man and suicidal people have in common?
They both hang.
What do you call a black man on the moon?
An astronaut, you fucking racist.
So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'
Why did Catholic women stop going to church?
Because it takes Jesus three days to rise.
How do you piss off a midget?
Give them a yo-yo and tell them to play with it.
What did Spiderman say on September 11th, 2001?
"Look out, Here comes the Spiderman!"
What do you call two homeless people throwing rocks at each other?
A pillow fight.
What does a blowjob and a bonus check have in common?
Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.
The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die: to be shot, to be hung, or to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.
So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head." Boom, he was dead instantly.
Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." Snap, he was dead.
Then the Irishman said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff." They gave him the shot, and the Irishman fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy.
Then the Irishman said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did. Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over.
Finally, the warden said, "What is wrong with you?"
The Irishman replied, "You guys are so stupid... I'm wearing a condom!"
What's an Alzheimer's victim's favorite musical group?
The Who?
I got you the candy. Haha! You idiot, it's poison!
Why do I support slavery?
Because I’m white.
How can you tell if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.
I told AI to talk dirty to me. It started describing my browser history.
A man wakes up and asks his wife, “Are you okay? You were cursing me all night in your sleep.” The wife replies, “Who says I was sleeping?”
Once a woman suspected that her husband was fucking their daughter at night. So she made a plan. That night, she gave her daughter sleeping pills and told her husband that you go to sleep, I have a headache and I will sleep on the sofa in the drawing room today. After everyone slept, she picked up her sleeping daughter and laid her on the sofa and went to her bed and lay down. After an hour, the door of the room opened and one man entered the room and jumped on the bed and fucked her intensely for 2 hours. Then she turned on the light with the bed switch and said, "You definitely didn't expect me." "I definitely didn't expect you, MOM! But you are more delicious than sister"! Her son replied in surprise!
What was Jesus's favorite sport?
Lacrosse.