Worst Jokes Ever

What do you call a blonde girl standing on her hands?

A brunette with bad breath.

What do Rihanna and a DJ have in common?

They know how to get a beat down.

Google 'dancing Israelis'.

How do you flatten curves?

With an abortion.

What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing to do when nobody's home?

Beat it.

Why is reverse cowgirl illegal in Alabama? Because you should never turn your back on family.

What does a one-night stand have in common with earthquakes? You never know how long they'll last.

Why does Santa come down the chimney? Because he knows he isn't allowed to come in the back door.

Nah, did your barber catch a seizure while lining you up?

Explain Bear is my favorite.

My neighbor's daughter gave me a three-course meal last night:

Starters - role play and stripping.

Main course - Reverse Cowgirl.

Dessert - Blowy.

If a pregnant emo kills herself, is it murder-suicide?

What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?

A kitchen chair! Your momma sits in it for lunch, and your dad only manages to reattach one of the two legs that broke off by evening.

Bro sat down too close for comfort. I told him to move or he would get hurt.

Come on, how hard could it possibly be To move a few inches? You’re touching my D.

A guy really needs his personal space. Disobey and I’ll shove it in your face.

Did you hear about the streaker in church? He was caught by the organ.

There's a new Viagra and prune juice diet that's out.

Unfortunately, you can't tell if you're coming or going.

What do you get when you mix Viagra with spinach?

Strong to the finish.

You're so skinny that a Wi-Fi signal is stronger.

We finally have something in common with Africa. They die of starvation, we die of overeating.

What is the favorite city of the pedophile icon? Paris.