Zoology jokes
Snake one: Are we venomous?
Snake two: Yep!... Why do you ask?
Snake one: Cuz I just bit my tongue!!! (Drama scene)
What’s the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it’ll be delighted!
How many animals can you fit in a pair of underpants?
A. A cock and a few hairs (hares).
What do you call an octopus on land?
A spider, duh!
What do you call a giraffe giving a blow job to another giraffe?
Getting neck!
Why do cheetahs have spots outside of their bodies?
Because they don't have them on the inside.
Why can’t you sell nans, but you can sell zebras?
Why did the orphan go to the monkey exhibit?
To see his closest relatives.
What do you call a bird with no wings?
Moas didn't even know that existed!
What happens when animals do a squat?
It doesn't become pretty...
What meds do snakes with ADHD take?
Adder-all.
Why don’t alligators grow up to 15 feet?
They only have 4.
Have you heard about the animal that was made of a human hand?
It's an ARMadillo.
Q: What type of mother gives their daughter sperm? A: A furry mother.
Why does no one sit next to a cheetah during school? Because they're a big cheetah.
What do you call it when a gorilla bumps uglies with an orangutan?
Monkeypox.
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
How many times do you tickle an octopus to make it laugh?
Ten-tickles.
What do you call an animal with 3 eyes, 2 mouths, 6 noses, and 4 ears?
What's the difference between a fly and a bird?
A bird can fly, but a fly cannot bird.