Animals are just... so hot!
Q: I like elephants.
A: Everything else is irrelevant.
How do you see the difference between a cow and a bull? It’s either one or the udder.
Why do cheetahs have spots outside of their bodies?
Because they don't have them on the inside.
Why did the orphan go to the monkey exhibit?
To see his closest relatives.
Kid: Why aren’t koalas considered bears?
Nerd: Because they're marsupials.
Kid: No, because they didn’t have the koala-fication!
What do you call a giraffe giving a blow job to another giraffe?
Getting neck!
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"
"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."
What do you call a cat that walks slowly?
CATerpillar
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
Answer: Elephino.
What do you call a bird with no wings?
Moas didn't even know that existed!
What do you call an octopus on land?
A spider, duh!
Why is the koala not a bear?
It doesn't have the right koalafications.
Snake one: Are we venomous?
Snake two: Yep!... Why do you ask?
Snake one: Cuz I just bit my tongue!!! (Drama scene)
What happens when animals do a squat?
It doesn't become pretty...
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have pockets. I’m
Knock knock? Who's there? Kanga. Kanga who? Not kangawho, kangaroo!
"Octo" means 8 and an octopus has 8 legs... so where did the "pus" come from?
Q: What do you do if you bump into a koala?
A: You koalagize to it.
What’s the difference between a bird and a human?
“We don’t eat with our peckers.”
