Yours jokes
A patient walked into a psychiatrist's office last week wrapped in nothing but Saran Wrap. The psychiatrist said, "I can clearly see your nuts."
How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.
What's worse than ants in your pants?
Your uncle.
A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, "Why are you crying my son?" "My parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died." "It's just not your day today is it?" Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.
What's the difference between a priest and a pimple?
A pimple will wait until you're 12 years old to come on your face.
Son: Dad, I know I'm adopted.
Dad: Well, how do you know?
Son: I found the adoption papers.
Dad: That is for your mum.
If you know, you know.
Your momma is so old she has been a waitress at the last supper.
I was going to talk about your chin, but I wasn't sure which one to write about.
An American bully goes up to an English kid and says, "You're ugly!"
And the English kid says, "Well, wanna know why you can't play Jenga?"
"Why?" says the bully.
"Because you haven't got a tower."
I went over to a crying child and said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at an orphanage!
I would kiss your lips, but your legs are blocking the way.
If you know, you know. 😏😏
(Best pick-up line ever). Your body is like 9/11. I wanna crash into your twin towers. 😏
"Your ass must be jealous of all that shit that comes out of your mouth."
Roses are red. Watches are gold. Get on your knees and do what you're told.
Roses are red, your eyes are brown; never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.
You're so bald that your hairline is receding faster than my bank account after a trip to Las Vegas.
Your hairline is so far away that even the Hubble Telescope can't see it.
If 2 + 2 is 4, and 4 + 4 is 8, then that must mean I can lick your pussy.
A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."
What do you do when your cat's not home?
Answer: You play with your neighbor's pussy.