Yours jokes
Fuck you and your shitty family!
Your hairline goes so far back that it has no records of it happening in history.
Imagine going up to an emo and saying, "You're just like a spider, you're both good at hanging."
Yo forehead so angled, your mom could walk up.
Why are tomatoes green? Because they rot, like your mum.
If you're reading this, you are Nickel and Gallium......
Ni- ........*something else in between the two halves*................Ga
YOU FUCKING MONKEYS!
I got up one day; my neighbor was in my house and was going to take me and my mom out. I showed my mom and my neighbor a trick. They both liked it. I asked my neighbor, "Do you know any tricks?" He said, "Yes, in matter of fact, I could tell you what your mom had for breakfast." I said, "How?" Well, my neighbor licked my mom's ass and ate her pussy out in front of me. He told me my mom had pancakes. So we were in the car; I asked my neighbor, "How did you know what my mom had pancakes for breakfast?" My neighbor said, "Well, that is what your mom made me while we were waiting for you to get up."
When your mum tells you to help your granny And you in plug life support.
An old woman walks into an outdoor supplies store.
"I'd like an infrared gorilla," she says.
The clerk proceeds to give her an infrared gorilla from the back room.
"We've had hundreds of these things in the back for ages," exclaims the clerk. "You're the first person who's actually wanted one."
A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"
What is you main food?
Me: Pizza cause I'm cheesy.
Friend: Chocolate chips cause I have a lot of friends.
Girlfriend: Donut cause I have a lot of cream.
What’s the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?
Acne waits till you’re 13 to come on your face.
How do you get a squirrel down from a tree?
You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.
My mama always told me, don't pick your nose or it will fall off! I thought she meant my nose.
Hey, give me a break! I'm a little shorthanded!
Oh no, not rock paper scissors again! I always lose. Come on guys, I just lost my finger a day ago! This is Tony, later on.
What do you and Quasimodo have in common?
You're both hideously ugly and hide in the dark.
Hey, do you like nuts? Try our new product, deez nuts! *slam dunk* It's a bag filled with all of your favorite nuts! We called it deez nuts! *slam dunk* We got cashues peanuts wallnuts!
And it's called deez nuts! *slam dunk* Try out deez nuts *slam dunk* now! It's a bag, filled with your favorite nuts! Deez nuts! *slam dunk*
Do you know how Chinese people roast? They say, "Boy, if you don't get your chi chong head, boy!"
Your hairline is so long that Odell Beckham Jr. missed a catch and saw your hairline from a mile away!
You. You're a joke.
If you're ever bored, adopt an orphan. What is he going to do, be kissed by Vedanta?