Yours jokes

Does anyone have an Xbox One? My gamertag is Chalkyfrog11. Add me and comment on this post telling me your gamertag.

Gwen, we can chat in 2 months. My aunt just died from COVID, and it is taking forever for us to get there to California. I love you, your boyfriend, Prince!

Cooper, your mum gay, lol.

Now you should let your imagination work... imagine naked Jesus with an erection... and nail holes in his hands...

I saw a trophy in my sister's room. So I said congratulations on your cheer leading. My sister said I didn't win the trophy for cheer leading, so I asked why. My sister said I won because I give the best jobs.

There was a man in a tower, and the other man thought it was a girl, so he said, "Let down your long hair." He said, "OK, I will let my big, super long, hairy penis down for you to climb and suck." Then the other man said, "If you have such a long dick, suck it yourself. See ya, b*tch."

What does your mum have in common with your dad?

They are both men.

Slow and steady wins the race...

...but it will never fix your ugly face.

What is more time-consuming than children?

Waiting for your wife to go into labor!

What happens when you see corn looking at you in your window?

A corn stalk!

Your friend took a shower and used Pantene, but I got a watermelon to keep me clean.

A man walks into a forest and sees a girl crying. He asks her, "What is wrong?"

She replies, "I lost my family, my friends, and my home."

The man then unties his pants and says, "Then young lady, your day is about to get worse!"

What did the bus driver say to the car?

"What is your address?"

What’s red and bad for your dental health? A brick.

What’s invisible and bad for you to breathe? Mustard gas.

What’s green and bad for you to drink? Radioactive waste.

When your wife gets pregnant and you don't want a kid, just come on down to Momma Mia's Pizzeria and abortion clinic!

If your butt hurts real bad, put some vapor rub and booty cream on it so it can heal back to normal.

If this is offensive to anyone, I'm sorry! Hey, wanna see something funny? Go look in your mirror!

Your mom is so fat that she only knows three letters, which are "KFC."

All of the sudden, if you're Republican, you're racist, and Communism is a symbol of freedom? What happened to the proud men our founding fathers were, damn it!

Me: What do we need from there? I have a few things to do before I head out to the store, and then I will be home to pick up the stuff.

Random person: What stuff? 🤨

Me: What?

The person: You said you’re going to pick up “the stuff”!!! What do you mean by that?!

Me: Colourful flamingo fart.