Yours jokes
You know, that I see my sister at home from school. She says everyone bullies me. I say, "Because you're a fat a**."
I saw a kid crying today and asked them, "Where are your parents?"
God, I love working at an orphanage!
Your hairline is so bad even your gay friend is straighter than it.
How can you tell if you have a high sperm count? When your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.
When do you know your dad knows you are sneaking out? He hears the loud creaks.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Duh!"
It's okay to tell a Stephen Hawking joke if there are stairs in your house he can't get to you. Plus, he shut himself down, so it's all good :)
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Slap it on the arse and tell it to keep going!
Dr. Brody: Sir, your son has a disease called boofa.
Dad: What's boofa?
Dr. Brody: Both of these nuts in your mouth.
What did the pen say to the pencil?
The pen said, "You're pointy."
Ok, this is a texting joke. This isn't my joke; I found it on Google.
Mom: SON YOURE G-MOM JUST PASSED AWAY lol
Son: Mom, how is that funny?!?! I hope you're not laughing!
Mom: OH NO I THOUGHT LOL MEANT LAUGHING OUT LOUD
Q: What can't teachers say to orphans?
A: "I'm calling your parents!"
You heard a conversation between Sans and Papyrus:
Sans: "Sub bro."
Papyrus: "DON'T 'SUB' ME BROTHER! YOU STILL DIDN'T REDINTEGRATE YOUR PUZZLES!"
Sans: "Easy bro, I have done a ton of work today."
Sans: "A skele-ton."
(Drum effect)
Papyrus: "OH MY GOD SANS!"
Step on your small sister's foot, she will always open her mouth like a dustbin.
Using modern day technology you can produce music with a Tesla coil. I don't know if you heard it, but it is quite shocking and even electrifying. I can't tell if it is metal or techno, but it is more valuable than joules. It really amps up your blood pressure and has you saying watt the whole time. It is way better than current music.
So, a husband and a wife have three kids. The husband is on his death bed, and he looks up at his wife and says, "Honey, is our youngest son truly and honestly mine?" She says in response, "I swear on everything that is good and holy, our youngest son is yours." He dies peacefully.
Then she says under her breath, "I'm glad he didn't ask about the first two."
You're so fat when you walk into the mall, you *are* the mall.
Your forehead is so big that NASA went to discover Mars, but then they said, "Oops, wrong planet. Mars is smaller than this, we will discover it later."
What is the best thing about a gipsy on her period?
When you finger her, you get your palm red for free.
Hey, I just wanna be in bed. I just wanna stay ahead. I just feel like I am dead, And I like that color red. Hey, I am not the big fat loser, And you're just a big accuser, You user and excuser.
Say this to you sister, toxic BF, anyone :)